O D V

CONTAINING A FULL, TRUE, AND PARTICULAR ACCOUNT OF THE TERRIBLE FATE OF ABRAHAM ISAACS, OF IVY LANE

"True 'tis P T, and P T 'tis, 'tis true."
In I V Lane, of C T fame,
There lived a man D C,
And A B I 6 was his name,
Now mark his history.
Long time his conduct free from blame
Did merit L O G,
Until an evil spirit came
In the shape of O D V.
"O! that a man into his mouth
Should put an N M E
To steal away his brains"—no drouth
Such course from sin may free.
Well, A B drank, the O T loon!
And learned to swear, sans ruth;
And then he gamed, and U Z soon
To D V 8 from truth.

An hourly glass with him was play,
He'd swallow that with phlegm;
Judge what he'd M T in a day,
"X P D Herculem."
Of virtue none to sots, I trow,
With F E K C prate;
And O of N R G could now
From A B M N 8.
Who on strong liquor badly dote,
Soon poverty must know;
Thus A B in a C D coat
Was shortly forced to go.
From poverty D C T he caught,
And cheated not A F U,
For what he purchased paying O,
Or but an "I O U."
Or else when he had tried B 4,
To shirk a debt, his wits,
He'd cry, "You shan't wait N E more,
I'll W or quits."
So lost did I 6 now A P R,
That said his wife, said she,
"F U act so, your fate quite clear
Is for 1 2 4 C."
His inside soon was out and out
More fiery than K N;
And while his state was thereabout
A cough C V R came.
He I P K Q N A tried,
And linseed T and rue;
But O could save him, so he died
As every 1 must 2.

Poor wight! till black in' the face he raved,
'Twas P T S 2 C
His latest spirit "spirit" craved—
His last words, "O D V."
MORAL I'll not S A to preach and prate,
But tell U if U do
Drink O D V at such R 8,
Death will 4 stall U 2.
O U then who A Y Z have,
Shun O D V as a wraith,
For 'tis a bonus to the grave,
An S A unto death.
Unknown.

A MAN OF WORDS

A man of words and not of deeds,
Is like a garden full of weeds;
And when the weeds begin to grow,
It's like a garden full of snow;
And when the snow begins to fall,
It's like a bird upon the wall;
And when the bird away does fly,
It's like an eagle in the sky;
And when the sky begins to roar,
It's like a lion at the door;
And when the door begins to crack,
It's like a stick across your back;
And when your back begins to smart,
It's like a penknife in your heart;
And when your heart begins to bleed,
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.
Unknown.

SIMILES

As wet as a fish—as dry as a bone;
As live as a bird—as dead as a stone;
As plump as a partridge—as poor as a rat;
As strong as a horse—as weak as a cat;
As hard as a flint—as soft as a mole;
As white as a lily—as black as a coal;
As plain as a pike-staff—as rough as a bear;
As light as a drum—as free as the air;
As heavy as lead—as light as a feather;
As steady as time—uncertain as weather;
As hot as an oven—as cold as a frog;
As gay as a lark—as sick as a dog;
As slow as the tortoise—as swift as the wind;
As true as the Gospel—as false as mankind;
As thin as a herring—as fat as a pig;
As proud as a peacock—as blithe as a grig;
As savage as tigers—as mild as a dove;
As stiff as a poker—as limp as a glove;
As blind as a bat—as deaf as a post;
As cool as a cucumber—as warm as a toast;
As flat as a flounder—as round as a ball;
As blunt as a hammer—as sharp as an awl;
As red as a ferret—as safe as the stocks;
As bold as a thief—as sly as a fox;
As straight as an arrow—as crook'd as a bow;
As yellow as saffron—as black as a sloe;
As brittle as glass—as tough as gristle;
As neat as my nail—as clean as a whistle;
As good as a feast—as had as a witch;
As light as is day—as dark as is pitch;
As brisk as a bee—as dull as an ass;
As full as a tick—as solid as brass.
Unknown.