I
Lest it may more quarrels breed, I will never hear you read.
II
By disputing, I will never, To convince you once endeavor.
III
When a paradox you stick to, I will never contradict you.
IV
When I talk and you are heedless, I will show no anger needless.
V
When your speeches are absurd, I will ne'er object a word.
VI
When you furious argue wrong, I will grieve and hold my tongue.
VII
Not a jest or humorous story Will I ever tell before ye: To be chidden for explaining, When you quite mistake the meaning.
VIII
Never more will I suppose, You can taste my verse or prose.
IX
You no more at me shall fret, While I teach and you forget.
X
You shall never hear me thunder, When you blunder on, and blunder.
XI
Show your poverty of spirit, And in dress place all your merit; Give yourself ten thousand airs: That with me shall break no squares.
XII
Never will I give advice, Till you please to ask me thrice: Which if you in scorn reject, 'T will be just as I expect. Thus we both shall have our ends And continue special friends.
Dean Swift.
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