And I wrote in the character Muhakkak[FN#235]:—
When oped the inkhorn of thy wealth and fame * Take ink of generous heart and gracious hand;
Write brave and noble deeds while write thou can * And win thee praise from point of pen and brand.
Then I gave the scroll to the officials and, after we all had written our line, they carried it before the King. When he saw the paper no writing pleased him save my writing; and he said to the assembled courtiers, "Go seek the writer of these lines and dress him in a splendid robe of honour; then mount him on a she mule,[FN#236] let a band of music precede him and bring him to the presence." At these words they smiled and the King was wroth with them and cried, "O accursed! I give you an order and you laugh at me?" "O King," replied they, "if we laugh 'tis not at thee and not without a cause." "And what is it?" asked he; and they answered, "O King, thou orderest us to bring to thy presence the man who wrote these lines; now the truth is that he who wrote them is not of the sons of Adam,[FN#237] but an ape, a tail-less baboon, belonging to the ship captain." Quoth he, "Is this true that you say?" Quoth they, "Yea! by the rights of thy munificence!" The King marvelled at their words and shook with mirth and said, "I am minded to buy this ape of the Captain." Then he sent messengers to the ship with the mule, the dress, the guard and the state drums, saying, "Not the less do you clothe him in the robe of honour and mount him on the mule and let him be surrounded by the guards and preceded by the band of music." They came to the ship and took me from the Captain and robed me in the robe of honour and, mounting me on the she mule, carried me in state procession through the streets', whilst the people were amazed and amused. And folk said to one another, "Halloo! is our Sultan about to make an ape his Minister?"; and came all agog crowding to gaze at me, and the town was astir and turned topsy turvy on my account. When they brought me up to the King and set me in his presence, I kissed the ground before him three times, and once before the High Chamberlain and great officers, and he bade me be seated, and I sat respectfully on shins and knees,[FN#238] and all who were present marvelled at my fine manners, and the King most of all. Thereupon he ordered the lieges to retire; and, when none remained save the King's majesty, the Eunuch on duty and a little white slave, he bade them set before me the table of food, containing all manner of birds, whatever hoppeth and flieth and treadeth in nest, such as quail and sand grouse. Then he signed me to eat with him; so I rose and kissed ground before him, then sat me down and ate with him. And when the table was removed I washed my hands in seven waters and took the reed-case and reed; and wrote instead of speaking these couplets:—
Wail for the little partridges on porringer and plate; * Cry for the ruin of the fries and stews well marinate:
Keen as I keen for loved, lost daughters of the Katá-grouse,[FN#239] * And omelette round the fair enbrowned fowls agglomerate:
O fire in heart of me for fish, those deux poissons I saw, * Bedded on new made scones[FN#240] and cakes in piles to laniate.
For thee, O vermicelli! aches my very maw! I hold * Without thee every taste and joy are clean annihilate
Those eggs have rolled their yellow eyes in torturing pains of fire * Ere served with hash and fritters hot, that delicatest cate.
Praised be Allah for His baked and roast and ah! how good * This pulse, these pot-herbs steeped in oil with eysill combinate!
When hunger sated was, I elbow-propt fell back upon * Meat pudding[FN#241] wherein gleamed the bangles that my wits amate.
Then woke I sleeping appetite to eat as though in sport * Sweets from broceded trays and kickshaws most elaborate.
Be patient, soul of me! Time is a haughty, jealous wight; * Today he seems dark-lowering and tomorrow fair to sight.[FN#242]
Then I rose and seated myself at a respectful distance while the King read what I had written, and marvelled, exclaiming, "O the miracle, that an ape should be gifted with this graceful style and this power of penmanship! By Allah, 'tis a wonder of wonders!" Presently they set before the King choice wines in flagons of glass and he drank: then he passed on the cup to me; and I kissed the ground and drank and wrote on it:—
With fire they boiled me to loose my tongue,[FN#243] * And pain and patience gave for fellowship:
Hence comes it hands of men upbear me high * And honey dew from lips of maid I sip!
And these also:—
Morn saith to Night, "withdraw and let me shine;" * So drain we draughts that dull all pain and pine:[FN#244]
I doubt, so fine the glass, the wine so clear, * If 'tis the wine in glass or glass in wine.
The King read my verse and said with a sigh, "Were these gifts[FN#245] in a man, he would excel all the folk of his time and age!" Then he called for the chess board, and said, "Say, wilt thou play with me?"; and I signed with my head, "Yes." Then I came forward and ordered the pieces and played with him two games, both of which I won. He was speechless with surprise; so I took the pen case and, drawing forth a reed, wrote on the board these two couplets:—
Two hosts fare fighting thro' the livelong day * Nor is their battling ever finished,
Until, when darkness girdeth them about, * The twain go sleeping in a single bed.[FN#246]