The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night — Volume 14 - Unknown

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Kazi's wife came up to him and passing her palm over his paunch presently cried, "Extolled be He, O my lord: verily thou art pregnant and a babe is in thy belly." Quoth the Kazi, "How shall a man bear a child?" and quoth she, "Allah createth whatso He willeth." And as they two sat at talk the flatulence and belly- ache increased and violent colic[214] set in and the torments waxed still more torturing. Then the wife rose up and disappeared but presently she returned with her pauper neighbour's newly-born babe in her sleeve, its mother accompanying it: she also brought a large basin of copper and she found her husband rolling from right to left and crying aloud in his agony. At last the qualms[215] in his stomach were ready to burst forth and the rich food to issue from his body, and when this delivery was near hand the wife privily set the basin under him like a close stool and fell to calling upon the Holy Names and to shampooing and rubbing down his skin while she ejaculated, "The name of Allah be upon thee!"[216] But all this was of her malice. At last the prima via opened and the Kazi let fly, whereat his wife came quickly behind and setting the babe upon its back gently pinched it so that it began to wail, and said, "O man, Alhamdolillah,? laud to the Lord, who hath so utterly relieved thee of thy burthen," and she fell to muttering Names over the newborn. Then quoth he, "Have a care of the little one and keep it from cold draughts;" for the trick had taken completely with the Kazi and he said in his mind, "Allah createth whatso He willeth: even men if so predestined can bring forth." And presently he added, "O woman, look out for a wet nurse to suckle him;" and she replied, "O my lord, the nurse is with me in the women's apartments." Then having sent away the babe and its mother she came up to the Kazi and washed him and removed the basin from under him and made him lie at full length. Presently after taking thought he said, "O woman, be careful to keep this matter private for fear of the folk who otherwise might say, 'Our Kazi hath borne a babe.' " She replied, "O my lord, as the affair is known to other than our two selves how can we manage to conceal it?" and after she resumed, "O my husband, this business can on no wise be hidden from the people for more than a week or at most till next month." Herewith he cried out, "O my calamity; if it reach the ears of folk and they say, 'Our Kazi hath borne a babe,' then what shall we do?" He pondered the matter until morning when he rose before daylight and, taking some provaunt secretly, made ready to depart the city, saying, "O Allah, suffer none to see me!" Then, after giving his wife charge of the house and bidding her take care of his effects and farewelling her, he went forth secretly from her and journeyed that day and a second and a third until the seventh, when he entered Damascus of Syria where none knew him. But he had no spending money for he could not persuade himself to take even a single dinar from his hoard and he had provided himself with naught save the meagrest provision. So his condition was straitened and he was compelled to sell somewhat of his clothes and lay out the price upon his urgent needs; and when the coin was finished he was forced to part with other portions of his dress till little or nothing of it remained to him. Then, in his sorest strait, he went to the Shaykh of the Masons and said to him, "O master, my wish is to serve in this industry;''[217] and said he, "Welcome to thee." So the Kazi worked through every day for a wage of five Faddahs. Such was his case; but as regards his wife,?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on this coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Ninetieth Night,

Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the Kazi went forth from his wife she threw a sherd[218] behind him and muttered, "Allah never bring thee back from thy journey." Then she arose and threw open the rooms and noted all that was in them of moneys and moveables and vaiselle and rarities, and she fell to feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and doling alms to Fakirs saying, "This be the reward of him who mortifieth the daughters of folk and devoureth their substance and shreddeth off their nostrils." She also sent to the women he had married and divorced, and gave them of his good the equivalent of their dowers and a solatium for losing their noses. And every day she assembled the goodwives of the quarter and cooked for them manifold kinds of food because her spouse the Kazi was possessed of property approaching two Khaznahs[219] of money, he being ever loath to expend what his hand could hend and unprepared to part with aught on any wise, for the excess of his niggardness and his greed of gain. Nor did she cease from so doing for a length of time until suddenly she overheard folk saying, "Our Kazi hath borne a babe." And such bruit spread abroad and was reported in sundry cities, nor ceased the rumour ere it reached the ears of the Caliph Harun al-Rashid in Baghdad city. Now hearing it he marvelled and cried, "Extolled be Allah! this hap, by the Lord, never can have happened save at the hand of some woman, a wise and a clever at contrivance; nor would she have wrought after such fashion save to make public somewhat erst proceeding from the Kazi, either his covetous intent or his high-handedness in commandment. But needs must this goodwife be summoned before me and recount the cunning practice she hath practiced;?Allah grant her success in the prank she hath played upon the Judge." Such was her case; but as concerns the Kazi, he abode working at builders' craft till his bodily force was enfeebled and his frame became frail; so presently quoth he to himself, "Do thou return to thy native land, for a long time hath now passed and this affair is clean forgotten." Thereupon he returned to Tarabulus, but as he drew near thereto he was met outside the city by a bevy of small boys who were playing at forfeits, and lo and behold! cried one to his comrades, "O lads, do ye remember such and such a year when our Kazi was brought to bed?"[220] But the Judge hearing these words returned forthright to Damascus by the way he came, saying to himself, "Hie thee not save to Baghdad city for 'tis further away than Damascus!" and set out at once for the House of Peace. However he entered it privily, because he was still in the employ of the Prince of True Believers, Harun al-Rashid; and, changing semblance and superficials, he donned the dress of a Persian Darwaysh and fell to walking about the streets of the capital. Here met he sundry men of high degree who showed him favour, but he could not venture himself before the Caliph albe sundry of the subjects said to him, "O Darwaysh, why dost thou not appear in the presence of the Commander of the Faithful? Assuredly he would bestow upon thee many a boon, for he is a true Sultan; and, specially, an thou panegyrise him in poetry, he will largely add to his largesse." Now by the decree of Destiny the viceregent of Allah upon His Earth had commanded the Kazi's wife be brought from Tarabulus: so they led her into the presence and when she had kissed ground before him and salam'd to him and prayed for the perpetuity of his glory and his existence, he asked her anent her husband and how he had borne a child and what was the prank she had played him and in what manner she had gotten the better of him. She hung her head groundwards awhile for shame nor could she return aught of reply for a time, when the Commander of the Faithful said to her, "Thou hast my promise of safety and again safety, the safety of one who betrayeth not his word." So she raised her head and cried, "By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange"?And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night and that was

The Three Hundred and Ninety-first Night,

Ass and Umm Amr bewent their way; * Nor Ass nor Umm Amr returned
for aye,