It is, however, of shop-window cures we now discourse. So profitable does this branch of business seem to have become, that it has overflowed its legitimate position in the chemist’s and druggist’s mart, and invaded the premises of other tradespeople. Every vendor of sweets, and many grocers, seems to find it profitable to have a special medical agent for sale. In a climate such as this, where coughs, colds, throat and chest affections so prevail, all who sell anything in the way of medicines have certain cures for such prevalent maladies. The number of so-called remedies is legion, and consists of pills, syrups, emulsions, mixtures, tinctures, lotions and potions ad nauseam. But there is one called “cough balsam,” unblushingly described as the “only known cure for cough, asthma and consumption.” Now as cough may depend upon at least fifty different causes, and as consumption kills thousands annually, this must be a very wonderful medicine indeed, and doctors should hide their diminished heads. It is really very stupid of people to go on coughing when they can precure a remedy for a few pence; and quite unnecessary for asthmatics or consumptives to go to the Riviera in the winter when they have a remedy at home. So say the vendors of chest affection cures. The giver of good advice rarely receives his due, otherwise we might say “Don’t” to anyone disposed to trust these cures.
Corns and bunions demand a good deal of attention. There are many kinds of corn plasters and several “miraculous cures,” which are all “painless, simple and speedy,” and which secure “ease, comfort and good temper.” One proprietor of a miraculous cure is so enthusiastic that he breaks out into doggerel—
If corn or bunion trouble you, of this you may be sure,
That free from pain you soon will be by using ——’s cure.
After this the man who merely advertises a corn rubber is nowhere. We were, however, under the impression that corns originated from pressure or friction, and that the only radical cure was removing that pressure or friction after the corn, if very large, had been taken out. Toothache, being so common, has, of course, a number of cures. A sufferer would dare a good deal to appease the hideous throes of toothache, and when plaintively asked, “Why sutler from toothache when you can cure it by using the toothache pencil?” would certainly try this, that or the other remedy before facing the dentist. But, alas! the dentist’s chair is the ultimate fate of the person with an aching tooth, and he may be happy if on leaving the dentist he carries his tooth—in his jaw—along with him. Nervous debility seems almost as responsible as toothache or corns for certain cures. Among the hundreds o’ medicines devoted to nervous debility there are “best brain tonics,” “botanic pick-me-ups,” “golden medical discoveries,” “damiana wafers,” and “syrups” of all kinds. Liver complaints and digestive imperfections are also well supplied. “Candies” and “jujubes,” cum multis aliis, are all very good for liver and digestion—at least so say the proprietors. There is one advertiser who, having announced, “Remove the cause and the effect will cease,” soars boldly above his compeers, and announces, “Head, stomach and liver pills!” It is, however, in the domains of surgery that shop-window cures are most pronounced. “Another leg saved!” “Another hand saved!” “Another toe saved!” by a certain ointment and pills is boldly announced. If all is correctly stated with reference to this new ointment and pills, Professor Holloway is outdone. Cancers are exhibited, diseased bone is shown, and corns are produced, all cured by this wonderful ointment. Bills are also distributed purporting to be the history of cures. One begins, “A boy threw a stone and hit him on the finger over six years ago.” The remainder of the account may be transferred into, “Affliction sore long time he bore, physicians were in vain,” until he was cured by the pills and ointment. Now this was evidently a case of scrofulous disease of the bones, always most tedious, and recovery post is not propter. We close the list by mentioning first “Oriental pills.” Why they are called Oriental pills we do not know, and what they are for we cannot ascertain. The name is curious, for pills in the East, unless introduced by Europeans, are as rare as snakes in Iceland. And, secondly, a cure for chilblains called “Chimethloplastron!” What it means we do not know. And we do not take to it—for the word does not come trippingly from the tongue like the blessed Mesopotamia.
It has been said that faith in the doctor is half the battle. Shop-window cures, however, require more than faith; they demand credulity. Nothing catches a man more than a pretended confidence; and of this among vendors of medicines, patent or not patented, there is no lack. It is astonishing how one is able to persuade oneself into a belief in accordance with one’s wishes. Barnum’s definition of a humbug was, “A man who gives you your money’s worth, but induces you to deal with him by some plausible tale connected with his goods.” Shakespeare asked, “Can’st thou not cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff which bears upon the heart?” This is not to be done by nostrums, and not always by doctors. Notwithstanding the vigorous declarations of vendors of nostrums, they do not appear quite sure of themselves. For the names of eminent medical men are freely used—among others, those of Brodie, Blundell, Jenner, Clark. This recalls to mind an anecdote of the Duke of Wellington and Dr. Locock. Meeting one day the Duke said, “Confound you, Locock! I’ve almost poisoned myself by taking your pulmonic wafers!” “Ah!” answered Locock, “and I have lamed myself by wearing Wellington boots!”—Globe in C. and D.
CANADIAN TARIFF CHANGES.
Alizarine, blood albumen, arseniate, bi-arseniate, chlorate and stannate of soda, tannic acid, tartar emetic, chlorate of potash crystals, gum gedda, gum barberry, grey tartar, fustic extract and quercitron or extract of oak bark, when imported by the manufacturers of cotton and woolen goods for use in their own factories only; and grey tartar, fustic extract, and quercitron or extract of oak bark, for the manufacture of colours, are admitted free of Customs duty until the end of the next session of Parliament.
Sulphate of alumina and alum cake, used as a substitute for alum by paper-makers, are placed on the list of articles that may be imported into Canada free of Customs duty.
Sumac, when imported to be used for dyeing or tanning purposes, i.e., manufacturing purposes, not further manufactured than crushed or ground, is placed on the list of articles that may be imported into Canada free.