The many fruitless applications I made for near five months to obtain an audience of Congress, and to have the business I came out upon closed, are well known to Congress, and the inferences I drew from the silent neglects, which my requests met with, may be easily conceived. In this situation I determined to lay my case before my countrymen and fellow citizens, to whom I considered myself ultimately accountable, though immediately so to their representatives in Congress. In consequence of this determination, I published my address in the beginning of December. On the 5th, Congress resolved to hear me; on the 7th I attended, and was ordered to report in writing my agency of their affairs in Europe, as soon as may be, &c. In obedience to their commands, I delivered them a brief and faithful narrative of my transactions, from the time of my leaving America, and flattered myself, that, from the time which had elapsed from my recall, which was more than twelve months, and more than five from the time of my return and attendance, the fullest examination must have been made into every part of my conduct, and that I could not fail of obtaining an early decision. Confident in the justice of Congress, I forbore to address the public further, whilst my cause was before Congress, and whilst I daily expected their determination. From these considerations, I silently submitted to the torrent of abuse, misrepresentation, and calumny, which almost daily poured forth against me in the public papers.
I considered myself as the servant of Congress, and entitled to their protection; to them I constantly appealed, not for favors, I asked none, but for justice. It is now five months since I laid my narrative before Congress, and on my being informed that a committee was appointed to examine and report on Foreign Affairs, and that my narrative was referred to them, I applied repeatedly to several of the honorable members, and requested that, if in the course of their examination they met with anything, in the letters and documents before them, respecting my conduct, which required explanation, they would call upon me and acquaint me therewith. I was not notified to attend them on the subject, and though I am informed their report has been for several weeks before Congress, I am unacquainted with its contents, as well as with the letters and documents on which it has been made.
Since I had the honor of laying my narrative before Congress, I have repeatedly solicited for the decision of Congress, but am to this hour without the honor of any reply to the many letters I have written; it would be tedious and perhaps unnecessary to repeat the substance of them; it would take some time to refer to the dates only; they are before Congress, and to them I appeal whether they speak the language of a man conscious of having defrauded and injured the public, or that of an innocent but greatly injured free citizen. I have had the honor of acting in the character of political as well as commercial agent for these States; I have repeatedly observed that every thing relating to the former is already ascertained or ascertainable at this time, and I freely rest my merits in that department on facts, and on the testimony of those great personages, who best know what my conduct was, and who have generously, and without solicitation from me, publicly declared their approbation of it. With respect to my commercial, I have appealed and again appeal to that mode of trial, which will prove to a mathematical certainty whether I have embezzled or misapplied the public monies, or whether, for more than three years' faithful services, I have received anything more than my private expenses. I have for more than ten months past been constantly soliciting to have the accounts of the commissioners settled, on the issue of which I freely put my reputation, and every thing dear in life. My solicitations have been unsuccessful, whilst my enemies, taking the base and disingenuous advantage of the circumstances before mentioned of my leaving France, raise a cry against me and say—where are his accounts? why did he not bring them out? if they were not settled, why did he not stay and settle them? I must confess, that when I reflect that these very men owe their present political, as well as personal, safety, to the measure I then took, I am at a loss which prevails most in my mind, indignation or contempt.
I trust Congress will indulge me, and the rather as I hope not to be obliged to trouble them again soon, whilst I ask every unprejudiced and disinterested member of that honorable body, coolly to review the scenes I have passed through, and to place himself in the different situations I have been in at different periods, since my engaging in this great and important contest, and consider me, after having at the earliest period adopted and invariably pursued the most decisive and determined part, after having for more than four years devoted my whole time and abilities to the service of my country, more than three of which have been in the immediate service of Congress; after having, under every disadvantage and embarrassment, successfully solicited and procured most essential aid and supplies for these States; after having been the principal actor in concluding an alliance every way honorable and advantageous to these States, and then returning to my native country with honorable testimonials of my character and conduct from His Most Christian Majesty and his ministers, as well as from my friend and colleague, and the French nation in general; and with an armament, which promised, on its sailing, complete and decisive victory over the enemies of these States, and which, notwithstanding its misfortunes, relieved them (this capital in particular) from the deepest distress and the most imminent danger; after this, to be obliged to waste ten months in fruitless attendance and solicitation for justice to my fortune and character, and at last worn out with the most mortifying delays and contemptuous neglect, driven unrewarded and unthanked to collect the little which remains of the scattered wrecks of my fortune, and to retire loaded with the most outrageous and unmerited reproaches into obscurity, poverty, and exile;—I ask every member of that honorable body, even those the most unfavorably disposed towards me, to put themselves for a few moments in my case, which I have by no means colored beyond the real life, and then pass sentence.
The loss of interest has little weight with me, nor loss of time, infinitely more precious, if by either, the honor, safety, and prosperity of these States is promoted. In the present case I am deprived even of this consolation, having seen, to my inexpressible grief, the essential interests of these States sacrificed by the very measures, which have occasioned the delay of justice to me. I still glory in the character of a free American citizen, and when I fear to speak in the style of one, I shall deservedly forfeit the most honorable of all titles. It was just and proper that my first applications should be made to the representatives of my fellow citizens; I have made them in the most decent and urgent manner, and repeatedly. They have been treated with the most mortifying silent neglect, even whilst every thing dear in life to me, and more than life itself, my reputation, was suffering. I thank God I have sufficient fortitude to part with every thing in life, and life itself, in the service of my country, without repining; but no consideration whatever shall induce me silently to suffer my reputation and character to be abused and vilified, whilst I have the power either to act or speak. For ten months past I have presented myself and my case before Congress, such as could by no means be considered in a neutral point of light, but decidedly meriting their approbation or censure. I have not been able to obtain either. Justice, therefore, to my countrymen and fellow citizens, to myself, and those great and generous personages who protected and patronized me, and the cause I was charged with abroad, requires of me that I justify myself before the world, by laying before them a faithful and exact account of all my public transactions from the first, and of the treatment I have met with.
In doing this, (if laid under the necessity,) I shall on no occasion transgress against the strictest rules of truth and decency, nor be wanting in that respect, which I have ever paid, and shall ever pay to Congress, as the representative body of my fellow citizens. At the same time, I shall with proper firmness, and the dignity becoming a free but injured citizen, expose to public view those, whether in Congress or out, who, to promote partial, interested, and family views, have from the first systematically labored to prevent Congress from deciding on my conduct as the servant of the public, though the interest of these States called for their decision. I flatter myself I shall not be laid under the necessity of further application, but that Congress will relieve me from the unmerited distress I labor under by closing this long protracted affair, or at least by immediately taking such measures as will, without delay, do justice to my services.
I have the honor to be, with the most respectful esteem and attachment, &c.
SILAS DEANE.