I have the honor to enclose some papers on this subject. One is a letter from the Commissioners to his Excellency the Count de Vergennes, which he received the beginning of January last,[51] the other is a letter from me to the Marquis de Lafayette[52] in February, with his answer.
I have the honor to be, &c.
JOHN ADAMS.
TO HENRY LAURENS.
Braintree, October 25th, 1779.
My Dear Sir,
Your favor of the 4th of this month gave me great pleasure, but I am afraid that you and some others of my friends felt more for me in the awkward situation you mention than I did for myself, though I cannot say that I was wholly insensible. I could compare it to nothing, but Shakspeare's idea of Ariel, wedged in the middle of a rifted oak, for I was sufficiently sensible, that it was owing to an unhappy division in Congress, and pains enough were taken to inform me, that one side were for sending me to Spain, and the other to Holland, so that I was flattered to find that neither side had any decisive objection against trusting me, and that the apparent question was only where.
That I was sent without the least solicitation of mine, directly or indirectly, is certainly true; and I had such formidable ideas of the sea and of British men of war, such diffidence in my own qualifications to do service in that way, and such uncertainty of the reception I should meet, that I had little inclination to adventure. That I went against my interest is most undoubtedly so, for I never yet served the public without losing by it. I was not, however, as you suppose, kept unemployed. I had business enough to do, as I could easily convince you. There is a great field of business there, and I could easily show you that I did my share of it. There is so much to do, and so much difficulty to do it well, that I am rejoiced to find a gentleman of such abilities, principles, and activity as Colonel Laurens undoubtedly is, without a compliment, appointed to assist in it.[53] I most sincerely hope for his friendship, and an entire harmony with him, for which reason I should be very happy in his company in the passage, or in an interview with him as soon as possible in Europe. He will be in a delicate situation, but not so much so as I was; and plain sense, honest intentions, and common civility will, I think, be sufficient to secure him, and do much good.
Your kind compliments on my safe return and most honorable re-election are very obliging. I have received no commission, nor instructions, nor any particular information of the plan; but from the advice and information from you and several other of my friends at Philadelphia and here, I shall make no hesitation to say, that, notwithstanding the delicacy and danger of this commission, I suppose I shall accept it without delay and trust events to Heaven, as I have been long used to do.