For these reasons the rough weather common in northern latitudes was by all means to be avoided, and smooth seas sought.

As to the conveniences to be derived from the Islands laying between us and Cadiz, I took some pains to examine into that matter. We had maps and descriptions of them all, and our master had been at many of them. I found there was not a single harbor in any one of them in which a ship could ride at anchor in every wind; on the contrary neither of them has anything more than open roads, out of which it is necessary for ships to make the best of their way, and put to sea whenever certain winds blow, a task which our ship was very far from being in condition to perform.

From this and other circumstances it was evident we could not refit in either of those Islands, not even so much as get a new rudder; for admitting materials for the latter could be had, yet such was the difficulty, if not impossibility, of hanging it in an open road, from whence the ship was every moment exposed to the necessity of going to sea by an unfavorable wind, that we could expect to derive no advantage from these Islands, except the prospect of obtaining some refreshments, which we could do without, and the value of which would not have compensated for the risk of approaching them in our condition.

As to the idea of our steering that course with a view of being landed on one of those Islands, and from thence going to Europe in another vessel, leaving our own to her fate, no earthly consideration could ever have reconciled me to it. The reasoning which was insisted on, that our being seasonably in Europe was of more importance to the United States than a frigate, and that in time of war, and for the public good, lives were to be risked by sea as well as by land, was a species of reasoning which applied to this case led to conclusions, which never have been, and I pray God never may be, among my principles of action. Had this plan of being landed on one of the Azores or Canaries been adopted, we should have either landed the crew with us or not; if the first, the frigate would have been given to destruction. This appeared to me inconsistent with the public good, because, if we reached Martinique, I had no doubt of a passage, and my arrival in France eight weeks sooner or later did not appear to me of equal importance to the United States with the frigate. Had the crew been left on board, it must have been with a view of saving the ship, either by her reaching Europe or the West Indies. The probability of her effecting either became then a most important question, as the lives of between two and three hundred Americans depended on the event. Against it were opposed the dangers of the seas, and the want of provisions; the former would have increased with the approach of winter, and therefore the longer the ship was detained to the northward, the more she had to suffer, and to fear. The frigate after having landed us on either of the Islands, must either have gone on towards Europe, or endeavored to get to the West Indies.

All the considerations abovementioned opposed the first, and whoever compares the time necessary for a voyage for a ship under jury masts, and almost without a rudder, from the banks of Newfoundland to the Azores or Canaries, and from thence to the West Indies, with our stock of provisions, will find them inadequate to the purpose, and be convinced of the cruelty of subjecting one's fellow citizens to such extremities. For these reasons I positively refused to join in this system.

As to the position in favor of going to Europe, that we should find the seas calmer as we advanced eastward, equally as we went southward, all the officers of the ship testified against it, nor would they admit that we had as much to dread from calms as from hard gales. The supposed difficulty of obtaining a passage from Martinique made but little impression on me. I could not suppose the Islands left unprotected by ships of war, or that the commanding officer would refuse to order a frigate on this service, if M. Gerard would represent it to be of importance, which I was sure he would do. How long our ship might be refitting here was not to be ascertained, but I could not prevail upon myself to believe, that the King of France would keep so considerable a fleet in those seas, without providing for the usual accidents they would be exposed to from the sea and the enemy. At the worst the ship would be in a safe port, and among a people bound by treaties and by interest to afford aid and protection, at least until Congress should be informed of her situation, and have an opportunity of providing for her wants. As to ourselves, in case we meet with the imagined difficulties respecting a passage, it would be easy by passing over to St Eustatia to get very safely in a Dutch ship to Holland.

On these reasons the advice I gave to the captain to come here was founded. I thought them right then, and was daily more and more confirmed in an opinion of their propriety. In the course of our run here, we had all the way fine, fair breezes; and, except in the latitude of Bermuda, smooth seas and scarce any calms. The night before we made the land, it was thought proper to lay the ship too, after the moon set, which was between twelve and one o'clock, and she continued in that position only four hours and a half. Such, however, was the effect of it upon the rudder, and so much damage did it receive from it, that had the ship continued as much longer in the same state, it was agreed on all sides, that the rudder would have been rendered useless.

M. Gerard, hurt by being disappointed in his expectation of being seasonably in France, and perhaps mortified at my preferring my own sentiments to his, ceased to observe that cordiality and frankness, which had before attended his conduct towards me. Nay, he once went so far as to tell me I had my reasons for coming here. I appeared not to understand him, and continued to endeavor to render the conversation as light and general as possible. This was a tax imposed on my feelings by regard to public good; as a private man, I should have acted differently.

Thus matters continued till about ten or twelve days before our arrival here, when M. Gerard observed to me in the presence of the captain, that it was time to think which side of the island of Martinique it would be most prudent for the ship to go, the north or south side, and proceeded to state the reasons which ought to induce us to prefer the north; particularly, that in the present condition of the ship, she would if she went to the south side be in great danger of running by the island to the leeward; for that as we might expect the wind at northeast, she would not be able to lay sufficiently close to the wind, to reach Port Royal or St Pierre's; besides, that she would be in danger of calms, and being in sight of St Lucia, would be exposed to the enemy's ships of war, without having reason to expect succor from any French ships of war; none of which, he said, cruised off the eastern part of the island, between Martinique and St Lucia. He then showed the advantages of going the other side, by an enumeration of many circumstances, of which I have notes, but which it would be too tedious to mention. The obvious meaning of all this appeared to me to be, that we should direct the captain to go to the northward of the island; but as I neither thought myself authorised, nor found myself inclined to interfere with the particular navigation of the ship, to which I was not competent, I only observed to M. Gerard, that his reasoning appeared to me to have weight; that it was a subject I did not understand, but that I thought his observations merited attention. On this the captain remarked, and I thought with propriety, that it was impossible to determine on which side of the island it would be best to go, until we were at or near the parting point, for that circumstances at present unforeseen might render that way rash, which we might now think prudent; for instance, an unexpected change in the wind, or the appearance of an enemy. He therefore thought a decision on the question improper, till we arrived off the eastern part of the island. This appeared to me so perfectly reasonable, that I thought no more about the matter, and I did not suspect that M. Gerard would have felt any further anxiety about it; but it nevertheless so happened, that in the afternoon of the 14th instant, there was a conversation in the cabin relative to a wager, which of the two we should see first, land or a sail. In the course of this conversation, M. Gerard observed, that it would depend on our going on the north or south side of the island, and insensibly leaving the subject of the wager, proceeded minutely to recapitulate his reasons for the one, and his objections to the other. In the progress of this disquisition, he grew warmer and warmer, and at length addressing himself more particularly on the captain, said, he was surprised that those facts and observations should meet with so little attention; that he owed it to his conscience and personal safety to mention and enforce them, and that he should represent the whole matter to his Court, &c. The captain repeated what he had before said relative to the impropriety of deciding on which side of the island we were to go, until we had made the land, observed whether any vessels were on the coast, and knew how the wind would be. He then questioned some matters relative to the navigation round the island, on which M. Gerard had insisted.

For my own part, as the subject was so serious, I wished to be informed of some others, which appeared to me to want explanation. The captain had informed me, that the master had been at the taking of Martinique last war, and was well acquainted with its bays, harbors, and coasts. I desired the captain to send for the master, which was immediately done. On this, M. Gerard more animated than usual, said, he pretended to no extraordinary knowledge on the subject, but that he had made inquiries, and was satisfied with the opinion he had given; then repeated what he had before said, about his conscience, personal safety, and Court, and was opening the door to go on deck, when I asked him if he would not stay, and hear what the master had to say. He said, no, he did not want to hear anything farther about it; he had done his duty in delivering what he had to us, and we might do as we pleased about the matter. I made no reply, but proceeded to examine the master, and one of the lieutenants. On the whole it did not appear to me necessary, but on the contrary invidious to give the captain any positive orders on the subject; nor did I enter into any farther conference respecting it with M. Gerard. I knew that no good would result from altercation, and that the best way of treating unreasonable propositions, cavalierly dictated, was silently to go my own way, uninfluenced by them.