I think Miss Juliet in the play
A forward little minx
(And Mrs. Grundy likes to say
What Mrs. Grundy thinks).
Her conduct with R. Montague
Seems perfectly absurd,
Such bold and brazen language, too,
I think I never heard.
I think Othello led a tame
And wretched kind of life,
With Desdemona What’s-her-name—
His namby-pamby wife.
To run away—at such an age—
And with a negro, too!
Such conduct even on the stage,
I think I never knew.
I think that, as to Beatrice,
Her husband was a flat
For looking for a life of peace
With such a wife as that.
Her conduct wasn’t over strict
For all her length of jaw;
And such a muff as Benedict
I think I never saw.
I think, when Portia’s lovers came
And played at pitch and toss,
The gentleman who won that dame
Contrived to gain a loss.
I think Emilia was a shrew,
And Rosalind ill-bred;
(But “As you Like It,” entre nous,
I think I never read).
I think Macbeth was led astray
By wicked Lady M.
And those three witches. By the way,
I don’t think much of them.
I think Ophelia—that’s a fact—
The best of all the set;
But anybody quite so crack’d
I think I never met.
Fun, 1865.
Brown (thinking of her age). Perfect voice that girl has—she’s only twenty-two.
Jones (thinking otherwise). Twenty-two what—stone?
