ROMANCE OF ADVERTISING.
“I wish, mister, you’d be so good as to stop the Press and put this in a good place (reads): ‘Hemily. Don’t delay, but return to yer broken-arted Adolphus, or there’s no knowing what may be the consequence!!!’”
It would be difficult to surpass the grim humour of the Pine Tree State gravestone cutter who notified the public as follows—“Such as buy tombstones of us look with pride and satisfaction upon the graves of their friends.” The announcement of an Illinois undertaker, however, runs it pretty close. Here it is—“An elegant stock of neat and nobby shrouds, warranted to give satisfaction to the most particular.”
The column in American papers devoted to “Wants” frequently affords its readers some amusement, either through the eccentricity of the advertiser or on account of some printer’s error. To the former cause, we have to ascribe the appended notice from a Kansas paper—
Wanted an old man of cranky disposition, who will stand no bull-dozing, to work from 3 to 7 p.m.; good salary and light work. Address “Crank.”
Let’s hope this plain-spoken advertiser met with the desirable un-bull-dozable individual he wanted, and that the firm who inserted the following in a southern paper were likewise successful in their quest for a young man of the same kidney—
Artist Poet. Yes, I consider that to be one of my most brilliant effects. It is entitled “Pirates surprised at sunset.”
Editor. Great Scott! Poor fellows, I don’t wonder they were surprised at it!
