Required, in the West End, for a permanency, sitting and two large bedrooms, nicely furnished. Do not reply if related to the nobility, unaccustomed to receive, or animated by any other reason than a desire to secure the amount paid for apartments, etc. Marketing done personally. Careless or unskilled preparation, waste, or mysterious disappearance of the things provided not tolerated. So-called musical evenings, cheerful family, tennis lawns, imitation gardens, select society, etc., regarded with indifference. Hypocrisy and snobbishness disliked. Preferred and insisted upon instead—good cooking, prompt attendance, scrupulous neatness, and a plentiful supply of clean house linen. A written agreement to be made and mutually complied with. State inclusive terms and full particulars. N.B.—Inclusive terms means “no extras.”
A London weekly once gave insertion to the appended notice, evidently the work of a wag, and intended as a skit upon a rather romantic episode which transpired about the time, when a lady played kidnapper, and a member of the sterner sex figured as the kidnapped—
Matrimony.—Wanted, a rich American or English lady to kidnap advertiser, who is of fine physique and well developed, in fact, a Samson, who would not mind a trip with comfortable quarters on board a yacht during the honeymoon, especially if the lady is amiable. Genuine.
This recalls an advertisement from an otherwise-minded young man. It appeared in an American paper—
A young gentleman on the point of getting married is desirous of meeting a man of experience who will dissuade him from such a step.
Probably some one referred this cautious youth to Punch, of a certain date, where the proper advice was given.
HE NEVER CALLED AGAIN.
Ballad for Music.
I met him in the festive scene,
Where hearts and eyes were bright;
I met him—ah, we ne’er had been
Acquainted till that night.