“Morning,” growled Carlyle.
“Mr. Carlyle,” said he, “I have come to see you this morning about my soul——“
“And what has gone wrong with your soul, then?” interrupted the man of letters.
“Why, Mr. Carlyle, I’ve been such an awful bad man that I’m afraid, if I were to die, I’d go straight to hell.”
“Very likely,” was the prompt answer. “Very likely indeed. And, what is more—you may be very thankful you have a hell to go to, too.”
A VERY GOOD INVESTMENT
“Now, James,” said a business man to his ten-year-old boy, “you are going to be a business man, and it is time that we should begin to give you some practical lessons in the art and science of investing money. Here’s a half dollar. You take it and go down town and invest it on your own hook and to the best advantage. I don’t care where you put it in, only so you put it where it will be safe and where you will get a good interest for your money.”
The boy took the silver and started off. In an hour he returned, reporting that he had made a good investment, and was going to get a hundred per cent. interest.
“Splendid!” said the admiring father. “Where did you put it in?”
“Well,” said the boy, “I went down town and walked around a while, wondering where I should find a good place, and by and by I came by a church, and there was a meeting, and they were singing, and I went in. It was a missionary meeting, and the man was begging money for Missions, and he said if you gave him your money why the Lord would send it back to you doubled—He would pay you a hundred per cent.”