A hundred years ago the virtues of rum were set forth in an English publication after the following fashion:
“It sloweth age, it strengthened youth, it helpeth digestion, it cutteth phlegme, it abandoneth melancholy, it relisheth the heart, it lighteneth the mind, it quickeneth the spirits, it cureth the hydupsia, it healeth the strangurie, it pounceth the stone, it expelleth the gravel, it puffeth away ventosity; it keepeth and preserveth the head from whirling, the tongue from lisping, the mouth from snaffling, the teeth from chattering and the throat from rattling. It keepeth the weasen from stiffling, the stomach from wambling and the heart from swelling. It keepeth the hands from shivering, the sinews from shrinking, the veins from crumbling, the bones from aching, and the marrow from soaking.”
“THE —— YANKEES”
When Sherman’s army was making its great march through Georgia the colored people were, of course, very much excited over the news of the approach of the Northern army. They had very little idea of what Northern soldiers looked like, but had commonly heard them spoken of as “the dam Yankees.” In a certain part of Georgia, when they heard of the approach of the great army, the darkies held a prayer-meeting, and one old fellow prayed—“O Lawd, bress Massa Linkum, an’ bress Gin’l Sherman. O Lawd, he’s one o’ us. He got a white skin, but he got a black heart, he one o’ us. An’, O Lawd, bress all dem dam Yankees!”
THE SNOLLIGOSTER
A circus came to town down in Kentucky. The tents were set up and the cages put in, and the people gathered about to look. “There, ladies and gentlemen,” shouted the barker, “is the Royal Lion, the king of beasts. He can whip any other animal in the world.”
“He kin, kin he?” queried a gawky Kentuckian. “I’ll bet you five dollars I have an animal at home that’ll lick him the very first round.”
“Can’t take your bet,” said the barker. “Too little money. Couldn’t think of letting him fight for five dollars, but I’ll take a bet of twenty-five dollars.”
“I ain’t got that much,” said Kentuck, “but I’ll borrow it of my friends, an’ we’ll have a fight.”
The bystanders made up the money, and the stakes were duly put up. Kentuck went to his home, and by and by returned with a bag over his shoulder.