“J—J—James! I see a—a—a—a sq—sq—sq—Oh, by George he’s gone into his hole!”
ALEXANDER
There was a chap who kept a store,
And though there might be grander,
He sold his goods nor asked for more,
And his name was Alexander.
He mixed his goods with cunning hand,
He was a skillful brander;
And since his sugar half was sand,
They called him Alex-Sander.
He had his dear one, to her came,
Then lovingly he scanned her;
He asked her would she change her name?
Then a ring did Alex-hand-her.
“Oh, yes,” she said, with smiling lip,
“If I can be commander!”
And so they framed a partnership
And called it Alex-and-her.
A FOOL ACCORDING TO HIS FOLLY
Once in traveling the Rev. Dr. Bledsoe was exceedingly annoyed by a pedantic bore who forced himself upon him, and made a great parade of his shallow learning. The doctor endured it as long as he could, but at length, looking at the man, said: “My friend, you and I know all that is to be known.” “Why, how is that?” asked the man, much pleased with what he thought a very complimentary association. “Why,” blandly replied the doctor, “you know everything in this world, except that you are a fool—and I know that.”