Three street boys were brought by the city missionary into a downtown Sunday-school, and placed in Mr. B——’s class. “What is your first name?” he asked of one. “Lem,” was the reply. “Ah, Lemuel,” corrected the teacher. “And yours, my boy?” he asked of the next. “Sam,” yelled the urchin. “Ah, Samuel,” rejoined Mr. B——. “And what may I call you?” he kindly asked of the third. “My name is—Jimuel,” said he.
TACT—AND NO TACT
That English clergyman had no tact who vehemently declared his parishioners to be “a set of unmitigated asses.” One of the Long-Eared standing by ventured to inquire whether that was the reason his reverence addressed them every Sunday morning as “Dearly beloved Brethren?”
But here was another English clergyman who had tact. On one occasion he was traveling in a stage-coach in company with a noisy talker who persisted in thrusting upon his fellow-passengers the fact that he did not believe in the Bible. In particular he was severe upon the writer who had alleged that Joshua had commanded the sun to stand still and look on while he wiped out the heathen. The clergyman had been measuring up his companion, and at this point he spoke out——
“Did you ever read the further explanation of that great miracle as given in the First Book of Zorobbabel?”
“Yes, I have,” snapped the learned infidel, “and that doesn’t throw any light on it either. In fact, it makes it worse——“
The general roar of laughter which followed this confession of ignorance ended the controversy, and bottled up the agnostic.
On another occasion this same clergyman was annoyed by a bustling preacher who walked up to him in public, and, in a voice that arrested the attention of all within hearing, challenged him to a controversy on Apostolic Succession. The challenged man turned sharply and said: “Can you repeat the Lord’s Prayer, sir?” “But—“ stammered the man, “I want to discuss—“ “Sir,” said the other, “I repeat, say the Lord’s Prayer, if you can.” The man was so taken aback by this unexpected flank movement that, if he ever knew the Lord’s Prayer, every petition of it had vanished from his memory, and he became red-faced and silent. Then his dignified antagonist turned in a stately way to the group of amused auditors, and said, “Sir, I will leave it to this intelligent assemblage to decide whether a man who is unable to repeat the Lord’s Prayer is competent to discuss Apostolic Succession.”