This is how the colonel and the lieutenant-colonel of a French regiment in Algeria were lionized. The major of the regiment one day came across a lion suffering grievous pain from a thorn in his paw. Pitying the poor animal, the major extracted the thorn. Considering what he could do in return for the kindness, the grateful lion secured a copy of the army register, ran his eye over the list of officers in the gentle major’s regiment, and waylaid and devoured both the colonel and the lieutenant-colonel, so that his friend, the major, could be promoted.
LAUGHED IT OUT OF COURT
In the course of a sermon on “The Soul,” a certain minister once said: “They are saying these days that the soul is nothing but electricity. Now, brethren, just to show you how utterly ridiculous this modern conceit is, suppose we substitute the word ‘electricity’ for the words ‘the soul’ wherever they occur in the Bible, and see how it will read. For instance: ‘What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and lose his—electricity. Or what shall a man give in exchange for his—electricity.’ Ridiculous, perfectly ridiculous!”
HOW TO CATCH A MULE
There was a farmer who had a balky mule and he couldn’t make the mule go. A stranger came along and offered to help, and the farmer told him to go right ahead. The stranger had a bottle of turpentine, and he opened the mule’s mouth and pushed back his head and poured about half of the bottle into the mule’s stomach. The mule gave one startled gasp and struck out across the prairie, and was lost to sight. The surprised farmer stood for a while immersed in deep thought, and then he said, “Stranger, please give me the rest of that turpentine; I’ve got to catch my mule.”
HOW THE YOUNG IDEA SHOOTS
Many children are so crammed with everything that they really know nothing.
In proof of this, read these veritable specimens of definitions, written by public school children:
“Stability is taking care of a stable.”