In shooting at a deer that looks like a calf, always aim so as to miss it if it iz a calf, and to hit it if it iz a deer.
Tew git rid of cock-roaches—sell yure house, and lot, and flee tew the mountains.
Tew pick out a good husband—shut up both eyes, grab hard, and trust in the Lord.
There ain’t nothing that iz a sure kure for laziness, but i hav known a second wife tew hurry it sum.
Josh Billings Allminax.
Michael Maloney’s
Serenade
Oh, Nora McCune!
Is it draimin’ ye are?
Is it wakin’ or shleepin’ ye be?
’Tis the dark of the moon
An’ there’s niver a star
To watch if ye’re peepin’ at me.
Throw opin yer blind, shweet love, if ye’re there;
An’ if ye are not, plaze be shpakin’;
An’ if ye’re inclined, ye might bring yer guitah,
An’ help me, me darlint to wakin’.
I am lonely! Ahone!
An’ I’m Michael Maloney,
Awakin’ shweet Nora McCune.
For, love, I’m alone,
An’ here’s Larrie Mahoney,
An’ Dinnis O’Rouk an’ Muldoon.
I’ve brought them to jine in the song I’ll be singin’;
For, Nora, shweet Nora McCune,