“Sheriff—remove this man from the box.”
Witness retires muttering: “Well, if he ain’t the thick-headedest cuss I ever laid eyes on.”
IMPOSSIBLE—BUT FUNNY
The Board of Councilmen in a Mississippi town voted the following resolutions at one of their meetings:
“First—Resolved by this council, that we build a new jail.
“Second—Resolved that the new jail be built out of the materials of the old jail.
“Third—Resolved that the old jail be used till the new jail is finished.”
This is something like the account an Irish sailor once gave of the execution of a negro on the west coast of Africa. He told how the negro’s hands were tied behind his back, and how the executioner cut the man’s head off at one clip, and how the headless man stooped down, seized his bloody head and set it up on his neck where it was before! When some bystander remarked that such a thing was impossible, for “How could the man pick up his head from the ground when his hands were tied behind his back?” “Begorry,” was the answer, “he done it wid his teeth!”
RURAL JUSTICE
It occurred years ago in the mountain regions in Eastern Tennessee. Some of the natives had been gambling in a tobacco barn, and one of the neighbors, in the interest of good morals, had them up “afore the justice” for it. The squire had a lank specimen of humanity before him and was examining him.