“I am a Republican,” said the first boy, “because the Republican party saved the country in the war and abolished slavery.”
“And I am a Prohibitionist,” rattled off the second youth, “because rum is our country’s greatest enemy, and the cause of our over-crowded prisons and poorhouses.”
“Very excellent reasons, boys, very excellent reasons,” observed the teacher encouragingly. “And, now, Jim, why are you a Democrat?”
“Well, sir,” was the slow reply, “I am a Democrat because I want that woodchuck!”
FINALLY THE WORM TURNED
A muscular Irishman strolled into the Civil Service examination-room where candidates for the police force are put to a physical test.
“Strip,” ordered the police surgeon.
“What’s that?” demanded the uninitiated.
“Get your clothes off, and be quick about it,” said the doctor.
The Irishman disrobed, and permitted the doctor to measure his chest and legs and to pound his back.