In regard Tom had been hinder’d by these troopers, he delay’d his visit to his Lady till next day, and then coming to her, gave her a full account of what had happen’d; she was pleased at heart at this wonderful relation, knowing it was safe for a woman to marry with a man who was able to defend her against all assaults whatsoever, and such a one she found Tom to be. The day of marriage was accordingly appointed, friends and relations invited. Yet secret malice which is never satisfied without sweet revenge, had like to have prevented the solemnity for having three miles to go to church, where they were to be married, the aforesaid Gentleman had provided a second time Ruffians in armour to the number of twenty-one, he himself being then present either to destroy the life of Tom, or put them into strange consternation; however thus it happened, in a lonesome place they bolted out upon them, making their first assault upon Tom, and with a Speer gave him a slight wound, at which his love and the rest of the women shrieked and cry’d like persons out of their wits, Tom endeavour’d all that he could to pacify them, saying, stand you still and I will show you pleasant sport. And with that he catch’d a back sword from the side of a Gentleman in his own company, with which he so bravely behaved himself that at every stroke he cut off a joint, loth he was to touch the life of any, but aiming at their legs and arms, he lopt them off so fast, that in less than a quarter of an hour, there was not one in the company but what had lost a limb, the green grass being stained with their purple gore, and the ground strew’d with legs and arms, as ’tis with tiles from the tops of the Houses after a dreadful storm. His Love and the rest of the company standing all the while as joyful spectators, laughing one at another, saying, What a company of cripples has he made, as it were in the twinkling of an eye! Yes, quoth Tom, I believe that for every drop of blood that I lost, I have made the Rascals pay me a limb as a just tribute. This done, he stept to a Farmer’s hard by, and hired there a servant giving him twenty shillings to carry these cripples home to their respective habitations in his dung-cart; and then did he hasten with his love to the church, where they were married, and then returned home, where they were heartily merry with their friends, after their fierce and dreadful encounter.
CHAP. VI.
Tom made a feast for all the poor Widows in the adjacent towns; and how he served an old Woman who stole a Silver Cup at the same time, etc.
Now Tom being married, he made a plentiful feast, to which he invited all the poor widows in four or five parishes for the sake of his mother, which he had lately buried, this feast was kept in his own house, with all manner of varieties that the country could afford for the space of four days, in honour likewise of the four victories which he lately obtain’d. Now when the time of feasting was ended, a Silver Cup was missing, and being ask’d about it, they every one deny’d they knew any thing of it. At length it was agreed that they should all stand the search, which they did, and the Cup was found upon a certain old woman, named the Widow Stumbelow; then was all the rest in a rage, some was for hanging her, others were for chopping the old woman in pieces, for her ingratitude to such a generous soul as Sir Thomas Hickathrift; but he entreated them all to be quiet, saying they should not murder a poor old Woman, for he would appoint a punishment for her himself; which was this; he bor’d a hole thro’ her nose and tying a string therein, then order’d her to be stript stark naked, commanding the rest of the old women to stick a candle in her fundament, and lead her by the nose thro’ all the streets and lanes in Cambridge, which comical sight caused a general laughter. This done, she had her cloaths restor’d her again, and so was acquitted.
CHAP. VII.
Sir Thomas Hickathrift and his Lady was sent for to Court, and of what happened.