More changes still! now, well-a-day!
A few cant phrases learned by rote,
Each beardless booby spouts away,
A Solon, in a long-tail'd coat!
Prates of the "March of Intellect"—
"The Schoolmaster." A PATRIOTE
So noble, who could e'er suspect
Had just put on a long-tail'd coat?
Alack! alack! that every thick-
Skull'd lad must find an antidote
For England's woes, because, like Dick,
He has put on a long-tail'd coat!
But lo! my rhyme's begun to fail,
Nor can I longer time devote;
Thus rhyme and time cut short the TALE,
The long tale of Dick's long-tail'd coat.
THE SUNDAY QUESTION. THOMAS HOOD.
"It is the king's highway that we are in, and in this way it is that thou hast placed the lions,"—BUNYAN.
What! shut the Gardens! lock the latticed gate!
Refuse the shilling and the fellow's ticket!
And hang a wooden notice up to state,
On Sundays no admittance at this wicket!
The Birds, the Beasts, and all the Reptile race,
Denied to friends and visitors till Monday!
Now, really, this appears the common case
Of putting too much Sabbath into Sunday—
But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy?
The Gardens—so unlike the ones we dub
Of Tea, wherein the artisan carouses—
Mere shrubberies without one drop of shrub—
Wherefore should they be closed like public-houses?
No ale is vended at the wild Deer's Head—
No rum—nor gin—not even of a Monday—
The Lion is not carved—or gilt—or red,
And does not send out porter of a Sunday—
But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy?
The Bear denied! the Leopard under looks!
As if his spots would give contagious fevers!
The Beaver close as hat within its box;
So different from other Sunday beavers!
The Birds invisible—the Gnaw-way Rats—
The Seal hermetically sealed till Monday—
The Monkey tribe—the Family of Cats—
We visit other families on Sunday—
But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy
What is the brute profanity that shocks
The super-sensitively serious feeling?
The Kangaroo—is he not orthodox
To bend his legs, the way he does, in kneeling?
Was strict Sir Andrew, in his Sabbath coat,
Struck all a-heap to see a Coati mundi?
Or did the Kentish Plumtree faint to note
The Pelicans presenting bills on Sunday?—
But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy?