One day this gentleman's groom
This willain did spy out,
A mounted on this oss,
A ridin him about;
"Get out of that there oss, you rogue,"
Speaks up the groom so stout.
The thief was cruel whex'd
To find hisself so pinn'd;
The oss began to whinny,
The honest groom he grinn'd;
And the raskle thief got off the oss
And cut avay like vind.
And phansy with what joy
The master did regard
His dearly bluvd lost oss again
Trot in the stable yard!
Who was this master good
Of whomb I makes these rhymes?
His name is Jacob Homnium, Exquire;
And if I'd committed crimes,
Good Lord! I wouldn't ave that mann
Attack me in the TIMES!
Now, shortly after the groomb
His master's oss did take up,
There came a livery-man
This gentleman to wake up;
And he handed in a little bill,
Which hanger'd Mr. Jacob.
For two pound seventeen
This livery-man eplied,
For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss,
Which the thief had took to ride.
"Do you see any think green in me?"
Mr. Jacob Homnium cried.
"Because a raskle chews
My oss away to robb,
And goes tick at your Mews
For seven-and-fifty bobb,
Shall I be called to pay?—It is
A iniquitious Jobb."
Thus Mr. Jacob cut
The conwasation short;
The livery-man went ome,
Detummingd to ave sport,
And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire,
Into the Pallis Court
Pore Jacob went to Court,
A Counsel for to fix,
And choose a barrister out of the four,
An attorney of the six;
And there he sor these men of Lor,
And watched 'em at their tricks.
The dreadful day of trile
In the Pallis Court did come;
The lawyers said their say,
The Judge looked wery glum,
And then the British Jury cast
Pore Jacob Hom-ni-um.
O, a weary day was that
For Jacob to go through;
The debt was two seventeen
(Which he no mor owed than you).
And then there was the plaintives costs,
Eleven pound six and two.