“‘You will have to answer these on oath before I can tell you whether I can present you to her Majesty,’ says he.
“I was as mad as a Texas steer. Here are some of the questions: ‘Did you ever have a grandfather? and if so, what was his vocation?’ ‘Have you contracted the toothbrush habit?’ ‘Are you addicted to the use of the double negative?’ ‘Spell phthisis, strychnine, pneumonia?’ Fine questions these to put to a gentleman worth a cool million! I told him to go to —— with his queen; and I’m going to have my private secretary write a letter to the President, complaining of Phelps, and demanding that he be discharged.”
Eugene Field.
OUR TWO OPINIONS.
US two wuz boys when we fell out,—
Nigh to the age uv my youngest now;
Don’t rec’lect what ’t wuz about,
Some small deeff’rence, I’ll allow.
Lived next neighbours twenty years,