The humour of Germany

by Unknown

THE SAD TALE OF SEVEN KISSES.

IT is quite a while ago, I think, since one day the dear God called the angel Gabriel to him, as he often does, and said, “Thou Gabriel, go and open the slide and look down! Methinks I hear some crying!” Gabriel went and did as the dear God said, put his hand up to his eyes because the sunlight dazzled him, looked all around, and finally said, “Down there is a long green meadow; at one end sits Barbelie pasturing her geese, at the other sits Christoph pasturing his pigs, and both of them are weeping to melt a heart of stone.”

“Indeed!” said the dear God; “go away, you tall fellow, and let me see.”

When he had looked he found it was just as Gabriel had said.

And this was how it came that Christoph and Barbelie were weeping so pitifully. Christoph and Barbelie loved each other dearly; one of them took care of the geese and the other took care of the pigs, and so it was a very suitable match, there being no disparity of rank. They made up their minds to be married, and they thought being fond of each other was a good enough reason. But here their employers differed from them. So they were obliged to be content with a betrothal. Now, as it is well to be methodical in all things, and as kissing plays an important part in betrothals, they had come to an agreement to the effect that seven kisses in the morning and seven kisses in the evening would be quite the proper thing. For a while all went well, the seven kisses being duly given and received at the appointed time. But on the morning of the day when this story occurred it came about that, just as the seventh kiss was coming around, Barbelie’s pet goose and Christoph’s pet pig had a falling-out over their breakfast, threatening to end in a serious melée. To settle this difficulty it was necessary for the two to stop short of the proper number. Later, when they were sitting lonely and far apart by the edge of the meadow, it occurred to them how very bad a thing this was, and they both began to weep, and were still weeping when the dear God looked down.

The dear God thought at first that in the course of time their sorrow would subside of itself; but when the sound of weeping waxed louder and louder, and Christoph’s pet pig and Barbelie’s pet goose began to grow sad for sympathy, and to make woe-begone faces, he said, “I will help them! Whatever they wish for this day shall come true.”

But as it was the two had but one thought; as each looked in the direction where the other one sat, and neither could see the other, for the meadow was long and there was a bush in the middle, Christoph thought, “If I were but over where the geese are!” and Barbelie sighed, “Oh, could I but be near the pigs!”

All at once Christoph found himself sitting by the geese, and Barbelie was with the pigs; but for all that they were not together, and there was still no possibility of correcting that wrong number.

Then thought Christoph: “Barbelie very likely wanted to make me a little visit;” and Barbelie thought, “No doubt Christoph has gone around to see me!” “Oh, if I could but be with my geese!” “Oh, if I could but be with my pigs!”

So Barbelie sat once more beside her geese, and Christoph sat beside his pigs, and so it went turn and turn about all day, because they always wished past each other. And so to this day they are short of that seventh morning kiss. Christoph, to be sure, was all for making it up that same evening when they both came home tired to death with wishing, but Barbelie assured him it wouldn’t do a bit of good, and that there was no possibility of getting things straightened out again.