Doctor: “I know just what will help you. You must drink two cups of very strong tea every morning.”
Patient: “Why, that is just what I have done for years.”
Doctor: “Then you must stop it.”
“Henry, my cigars are disappearing at a great rate. Is it possible that within the short time you have been in my service——”
“Never fear, sir; I have three boxes full left from my last master.”
Lieutenant A. (relating his gallant adventures at the ball): “A crowd of ladies stood about me, waiting for me to say something very brilliant.”
Lieutenant B.: “Of course you kept them in suspense.”
Lieutenant A.: “Most certainly I did.”
New Burgomaster: “No celebrity ever been born in this town?”
First Citizen: “Not yet, unfortunately; but all that will be different under your administration.”