On Moore the poet’s excuse to his guests that his servant was ill from the effects of a carousal.

Come, come, for trifles never stick,

Most servants have a failing,

Yours, it is true, are sometimes sick,

But mine are always aleing.

On being asked what “on the contrary” meant, when that phrase was used by a person charged with eating three eggs every morning, Luttrell’s ready retort was, “Laying them, I daresay.”

I hate the sight of monkeys, they remind one so of poor relations.

On a man run over by an omnibus.

Killed by an omnibus—why not?

So quick a death a boon is.