Now that the high tide of life’s on the slack again,

Pleasure’s deep draught drained down to the lees,

Dearly I wish I had the days back again,

When I wore petticoats down to my knees!

Well do I mind the day I donned trousereens,

My proud mother cried “We’ll soon be a man!”

Little we know what fate has in store for us—

Troth, it was then that my troubles began.

Cramped up in clothes, little comfort or ease I find,

Crippled and crushed, almost frightened to sneeze!