Y. W. How, sir?
Rich. Why, go to a magistrate and swear you would have robbed me of two hundred pounds. Look ’e, sir, you have been often told that your extravagance would some time or other be the ruin of you; and it will go a great way in your indictment to have turned the pad upon your friend.
Y. W. This usage is the height of ingratitude from you, in whose company I have spent my fortune.
Rich. I’m therefore a witness that it was very ill spent. Why would you keep company, be at equal expenses with me, that have fifty times your estate? What was gallantry in me was prodigality in you; mine was my health, because I could pay for it; yours a disease, because you could not.
Y. W. And is this all I must expect from our friendship?
Rich. Friendship! Sir, there can be no such thing without an equality.
Y. W. That is, there can be no such thing when there is occasion for ’t.
Rich. Right, sir—our friendship was over a bottle only; and whilst you can pay your club of friendship, I’m that way your humble servant; but when once you come borrowing, I’m this way—your humble servant.[Exit.
Y. W. Rich, big, proud, arrogant villain! I have been twice his second, thrice sick of the same love, and thrice cured by the same physic, and now he drops me for a trifle—that an honest fellow in his cups should be such a rogue when he is sober! The narrow-hearted rascal has been drinking coffee this morning. Well, thou dear solitary half-crown, adieu! Here, Jack, take this, pay for a bottle of wine, and bid Balderdash bring it himself. [Exit Servant.] How melancholy are my poor breeches; not one chink! Thou art a villainous hand, for thou hast picked my pocket. This vintner now has all the marks of an honest fellow, a broad face, a copious look, a strutting belly, and a jolly mien. I have brought him above three pounds a night for these two years successively. The rogue has money, I’m sure, if he would but lend it.
Enter Balderdash, with a bottle and glass.