A countryman attending church at a distance from his own village, was observed to sit unmoved through a sermon which affected the whole congregation to tears. The priest, thinking him a hardened sinner, singled him out for a personal address.
“Are you the only one to remain unshaken? Do you alone hear nothing?”
“Sir,” replied the peasant, “I don’t belong to this parish!”
A literary man recently applied to a journalistic friend, asking him to get him work and make him known to the public. “My dear fellow,” replied the friend, “in order to get work and become known you must publish.”
The author hastened with a volume of MS. to a publisher, and asked him to print it.
“My dear sir, if you want to publish, you ought to become known first.”
Now what is he to do?
Our Paris correspondent, reporting a Socialist meeting, says, “The orator made use of a set of commonplace catchwords and high-sounding phrases, calculated to make a profound impression on the fools who attend similar gatherings. I was present....”
A candid confession!
Recruit (to Corporal). If I told you you were an ass, what would you do, sir?