“Why, into the entrails—the crocodile’s entrails.... So to say, to collect information, to study facts on the spot. Of course it is a new idea, but then it is progressive, and at the same time it shows care for education.”
Timofèy Semyònych meditated.
“To despatch an official,” he remarked, at last, “into a crocodile’s entrails on a special commission, is, according to my personal opinion, absurd. It is not in accordance with the regulations. And then, what commission can there be to fulfil there?”
“Well, you know, natural philosophy—I mean the study of Nature on the spot, in the living organism. Natural science is all the rage now, and botany and all that.... He could live there and give information.... Well, for instance, about the digestion ... or even the general habits. For the obtaining of facts.”
“That is to say, in the department of statistics. Well, I’m not strong on that point, and then I’m not a philosopher. You say—facts; as it is, we’re crowded out with facts, and don’t know what to do with them all. And then these statistics are dangerous things.”
“How so?”
“Very dangerous. And, moreover, you must admit that he will have to communicate his facts while lying down at his ease. How can a man be on Government service while he’s lying down? That, again, is an innovation, and a dangerous one; and for that, too, there is no precedent. Now, if there were even any sort of precedent, then, in my opinion, it might be possible to arrange a commission.”
“But up till now live crocodiles have not been brought here, Timofèy Semyònych.”
“H’m, yes.”... He meditated again. “There is some truth in your argument, and it might even serve as a basis for the further development of the case. But again, on the other hand, if with the introduction of live crocodiles Government servants begin to disappear, and then, in consideration of the fact that it is soft and warm inside there, begin to demand commissions to live there, and then spend their time lying down, you must acknowledge it’ll be a bad example. You see, if it were so, every one would be wanting to get paid for nothing. Well, good-bye; I must go to Nikìfor Nikìforych; are you coming?”
“No, I must go back to the captive.”