It is good breeding to be agreeable and never obstinate when one is with other men, and to be modest in demeanor; to walk a proper gait when on foot and to watch one’s limbs carefully wherever one goes to make sure that each will move correctly and yet in a natural way. It is good breeding, too, when one strolls about in a city among strangers, to keep silence and use few words, to shun turmoil and disgraceful tippling, to punish theft and robbery and all other foolish rioting. It is also good breeding to avoid profanity, cursing, scolding, and all other pernicious talk. Be careful also never to appear as the advocate of stupid and dishonest men and especially not to support them in their impudence, but rather to show hatred for wickedness in every form. It is good breeding to shun chess and dice, brothels and perjury, false testimony, and other lasciviousness or filthy behavior. It shows good breeding to be cleanly in food and clothes; to take good care of the ships, horses, weapons, and buildings that one may possess; to be cautious and never rash and to be undismayed in times of stress; never to be ostentatious, domineering, or envious; and to shun arrogance and affectation in every form. But the chief point in all conduct is to love God and holy church, to hear mass regularly, to be diligent in divine service, and to implore mercy for oneself and all other Christian people.
No one can attain to all these virtues which we have now enumerated as belonging to courtesy and good breeding, unless he is also endowed with wisdom. These gifts will accompany wisdom: elegance in speech, eloquence, insight into proper conduct, and ability to discriminate between good manners and what passes for such in the sayings of foolish men, though they are in fact bad manners. It is also wisdom, when one is present at the law court, or some other place where men congregate, and hears the speeches and the suits of men, to be able to discern clearly what suits or what speeches delivered there are based on reason and which ones are merely glib palaver and senseless verbosity. It is also wisdom to have a clear appreciation, when decrees are rendered in the disputes of men, of how these are stated, so that not a word will be added or taken away, if one should need to know them at some later time. It is also wisdom to keep faithfully in mind what facts were discussed and what agreements were reached. It is wisdom to know the law thoroughly, to have clear perceptions of what is actual law and what is merely called law, being nothing but quibble and subterfuge. It is also wisdom, if one has a request to make, to be able to determine what he may ask for that will prove serviceable and is proper for the other to grant; also, if one meets a request, to know precisely what he may grant with propriety and in what matters he must be careful not to bind himself or those who come after him, such things, namely, as may prove a disgrace to him rather than a distinction. Finally, it is wisdom not to be strait-handed about things which one may just as well dispose of, lest such stint or stinginess bring shame upon him.
There is also great wisdom in moderation and righteousness. All forms of learning, insight, and good foresight which is necessary to courtesy and good breeding, to stewardship, government and the enforcement of law,—these, too, are akin to wisdom. And you will need to learn all this thoroughly, if you wish to be known among kings and chieftains as an estimable man, for all who know these things are received with favor among the great. Furthermore, the lives of men who have mastered this knowledge may bring great honor to themselves and profit to many others. But wisdom has many forms, for it springs from roots which have many branches. And from these roots of wisdom rises the mightiest of all stems, which again divides into large boughs, many branches, and a multitude of twigs of different sizes, some small and some large. These are later distributed among men in such a way that some obtain the larger and some the smaller ones, and these riches have their value according as they are loved. He who is sure to appreciate this wealth and share it freely receives a large amount; for the nature of this possession is such that it is most attracted to him who loves it most and uses it most liberally. And if men knew how to value and appreciate these riches properly, gold and silver would seem to them like rust, clay, or ashes, when compared with these treasures. But he who wishes to secure this wealth must begin in this way: he must fear Almighty God and love Him above all things.
XLI
THE SAME SUBJECT CONTINUED
Son. It was clearly well-advised to continue this inquiry, for now I have gotten both useful and precise information; and this speech will surely help every man who is at least somewhat intelligent to more definite ideas than he had before. Moreover, those who have received only slender wands from the boughs of wisdom are more numerous than those who have received large branches, some getting but the tiniest twigs, and some a mere leaf, while those who get nothing must indeed be few. Therefore I wish to ask you to instruct me further in the art of choosing and laying hold on those branches which may prove useful to myself and others.
Father. The virtues that I have just enumerated grow especially on the boughs of wisdom, but they ramify into a great many good branches and twigs. Now these are the branches which are most useful: a rational outlook, a temperate mind, and the capacity to determine judiciously what one owes to every other man. If you are angry with any man because of a law suit or some evil deed, take careful thought before seeking revenge, as to how important the matter really is and how great a retribution it is worth. When you hear things in the speech of other men which offend you much, be sure to investigate with reasonable care whether the tales be true or false; but if they prove to be true and it is proper for you to seek revenge, take it with reason and moderation and never when heated or irritated. Even though you hear tidings which seem damaging to yourself or your business, such as loss of property or men, always bear it with a calm and undaunted temper. Let the loss of wealth seem least to you, for you must bear in mind that it is sinful to worship wealth or to love it too highly, even though it returns a man’s love and comes abundantly into his keeping. And to love wealth much, when it seems inclined to turn away from a man and does not return his love, is surely sinful and will lead to grief. Remember, too, that all come destitute into the world; and our mode of departure from this life is such that wealth cannot follow us out of the world. Nevertheless, you must take heed that nothing is lost through your neglect or indifference. And never grieve so deeply over a loss that you cannot be hopeful and cheerful as before.
If you suffer loss of men, bear that loss, too, with a calm spirit; for remember that every man in departing this life fulfils a law in human nature, inasmuch as no one is created to live forever in this world. Let it grieve you more, if an acquaintance of yours who has not lived as he ought here on earth, should die in that state and leave the world in disgrace; but most of all if you fear that his soul is in peril; for such things are rather to be lamented than that in dying he pays a debt to nature. But if he lived uprightly while on earth and made proper provision for his soul before he died, then you may take comfort in the good repute that lives after him, and even more in the blissful happiness which you believe he will enjoy with God in the other world. In the same way you must keep your spirit calm and in good control when such events come to pass as may seem profitable to you and stir your heart to joy and gladness, whether it be the death of men whom you have hated, or other happenings in which you might seem to find pleasure. But if you should happen to hear of the death of a man whom you counted an enemy and to whom you had planned to do evil, if opportunity should be found, rejoice much more in that God has saved you from a threefold sin than in the death of him who has departed. For you should be glad that God has prevented your hands from committing the sinful deed that was in your purpose, and has relieved your mind of the long-continued wrath and bitterness which you cherished against your enemy while he lived.
Likewise, if high honors and dignities should come to you from a king or from other magnates, it is important that you should know how to receive them with modesty, lest what befalls so many an indiscreet man should also happen to you. For it is often the case that when one who is lacking in good sense receives any preferment from great men, he will rate himself so high in his pride and avarice that he counts no other man his equal. But such pretension leads to the downfall of everyone who behaves in this way; inasmuch as it is God’s purpose to strike down immoderate pride with sacred humility; and everyone who is too proud and greedy in his behavior will surely find God a constant opponent. Now if you should be so fortunate as to receive preferments from a king or other princes, remember it is God’s method and purpose, by prompting them (for He holds the minds and hearts of chiefs in His hand), to elevate such men as He wishes to honor and dignity. On the other hand, it is also the duty of every man to assist all those who have less strength than he. Keep in mind, then, if God should raise you up to any place of honor, that it must be to the profit of all who are less capable than yourself, except such as hate morality and right counsel; to them it should be a hindrance for a just man to be given power and authority. If God gives you wisdom and clear insight and you have also the good fortune to be awarded honors by great men, there are certain vices which you need especially to guard against: arrogant self-esteem, avarice that yearns for bribes, and forgetful neglect of the needs of men who are less capable than yourself. Keep constantly before your eyes as a warning the misfortunes of those who have fallen into disgrace because of immoderate pride. Also keep in mind, as a comforting hope, the careers of men who have received constant honors because of their steadfast justice and humility.