'"Have you read any text-book on the subject?'
"'No.'
"'Have you conversed with any one who has read such a book?'
"'No, sir. I'm afraid not, sir.'
"'Well, then, my friend, don't you see that you haven't a single qualification for this important post?' said Lincoln, in a reproachful tone.
"'Yes, I do,' said the applicant, and he took leave humbly, almost gratefully."--(Chicago Record-Herald.)
NOT GOOD OFFICES, BUT A GOOD STORY.
When Washington and its chief guardians were more sorely besieged by office-seekers than by the Confederates, a politician locally important and generally importunate was sent as a "committee of one" to headquarters to secure the loaves and fishes for his congeries. But in about a fortnight this forager came home, full of emptiness. Asked if he had not seen the President--accounted commonly as only too accessible--and why he did not get the places, he replied glumly, yet with a tinge of brightening:
"Yes, I saw the old man. He heard me state my errand, the President did. He heard me patiently all right enough; and then he said: 'I am sorry not to have any good offices for you, but--I can give you something--a good story!'
"And he went on with--