ACT. III.
SCENE I.—The Country.
Enter Lovell and Allworth.
Lov. Drive the carriage down the hill: something in private
I must impart to Allworth.
Allw. O, my lord!
What sacrifice of reverence, duty, watching;
Although I could put off the use of sleep,
And ever wait on your commands to serve 'em.
What danger, tho' in ne'er so horrid shapes,
Nay death itself, though I should run to meet it,
Can I, and with a thankful willingness, suffer:
But still the retribution will fall short
Of your bounties shower'd upon me.
Lov. Loving youth,
Till what I purpose be put into act,
Do not o'erprize it: since you have trusted me
With your soul's nearest, nay, her dearest secret,
Rest confident, 'tis in a cabinet lock'd,
Treachery shall never open. I have found you
More zealous in your love and service to me
Than I have been in my rewards.
Allw. Still great ones,
Above my merit. You have been
More like a father to me than a master.
'Pray you pardon the comparison.
Lov. I allow it;
And give you assurance I'm pleas'd in't.
My carriage and demeanour to your mistress.
Fair Margaret shall truly witness for me,
I can command my passion.
Allw. 'Tis a conquest
Few lords can boast of when they are tempted—Oh!
Lov. So young, and jealous!
Allw. Were you to encounter with a single foe,
The victory were certain: but to stand
The charge of two such potent enemies,
At once assaulting you, as wealth and beauty,
And those two seconded with power, is odds
Too great for Hurcules.
Hippolitus himself would leave Diana,
To follow such a Venus.
Lov. Love hath made you
Poetical, Allworth.
How far is it
To Overreach's?
Allw. At the most, some half hour's riding;
You'll soon be there.
Lov. And you the sooner freed
From your jealous fears.
Allw. Oh that I durst but hope it! [Exeunt.
SCENE II.—A Hall in Sir Giles's house.
Enter Sir Giles Overreach, Greedy and Marall.
Sir G. Spare for no cost, let my dressers crack with the weight
Of curious viands.
Greedy. Store indeed's no sore, sir.
Sir G. That proverb fits your stomach, Mr. Greedy.
Greedy. It does indeed, Sir Giles.
I do not like to see a table ill spread,
Poor, meager, just sprinkled o'er with salads,
Slic'd beef, giblets, and pigs' pettitoes.
But the substantials—Oh! Sir Giles the substantials!
The state of a fat Turkey now,
The decorum, the grandeur he marches in with.
Then his sauce, with oranges and onions,
O, I declare, I do much honour a chine of beef!
O lord! I do reverence a loin of veal!
Sir G. You shall have your will, Mr. Greedy.
And let no plate be seen, but what's pure gold,
Or such, whose workmanship exceeds the matter
That it is made of; let my choicest linen
Perfume the room; and when we wash, the water
With precious powders mix, to please my lord,
That he may with envy wish to bathe so ever.
Mar. 'Twill be very chargeable.
Sir G. Avaunt, you drudge!
Now all my labour'd ends are at the stake,
Is't time to think of thrift? Call in my daughter.
Exit Marall.
And, master of justice, since you love choice dishes,
And plenty of 'em——
Greedy. As I do indeed, sir.
Almost as much as to give thanks for 'em—
Sir G. I do confer that province, with my power
Of absolute command, to have abundance,
To your best care.
Greedy. I'll punctually discharge it,
And give the best direction. [Sir Giles retires.]—Now am I,
In mine own conceit, a monarch, at the least,
Arch president of the boil'd, the roast, the baked;
I would not change my empire for the great Mogul's,
Mercy on me, how I lack food! my belly
Is grown together like an empty satchell.
What an excellent thing did Heaven bestow on man,
When she did give him a good stomach!
It is of all blessings much the greatest.
I will eat often and give thanks
When my belly's brac'd up like a drum, and that's pure justice.
Exit.
Sir G. It must be so. Should the foolish girl prove modest,
She may spoil all; she had it not from me,
But from her mother: I was ever forward,
As she must be, and therefore I'll prepare her. Margaret!
Enter Margaret.
Marg. Your pleasure, sir?
Sir G. Ha! this is a neat dressing!
These orient pearls, and diamonds well plac'd too!
The gown affects me not; it should have been
Embroider'd o'er and o'er with flowers of gold;
But these rich jewels and quaint fashion help it.
How like you your new woman, the Lady Downfall'n!
Marg. Well for a companion:
Not as a servant.
Sir G. Is she humble, Meg?
And careful too, her ladyship forgotten?
Marg. I pity her fortune.
Sir G. Pity her! trample on her.
I took her up in an old tatter'd gown
(E'en starv'd for want of food), to serve thee;
And if I understand she but repines
To do thee any duty, though ne'er so servile,
I'll pack her to her knight, where I have lodg'd him,
In the country, and there let them howl together.
Marg. You know your own ways; but for me, I blush
When I command her that was once attended
With persons not inferior to myself
In birth.
Sir G. In birth! Why, art thou not my daughter,
The blest child of my industry and wealth?
Why, foolish girl, was't not to make thee great,
That I have run, and still pursue those ways
That hale down curses on me, which I mind not?
Part with these humble thoughts, and apt thyself
To the noble state I labour to advance thee;
Or, by my hopes to see thee honourable,
I will adopt a stranger to my heir,
And throw thee from my care; do not provoke me.
Marg. I will not, sir; mould me which way
you please.
Enter Greedy.
Sir G. How! interrupted?
Greedy. 'Tis matter of importance.
The cook, sir, is self-will'd, and will not learn
From my experience. There's a fawn brought in, sir,
And for my life, I cannot make him roast it
With a Norfolk dumpling in the belly of it:
And, sir, we wise men know, without the dumpling
'Tis not worth three pence.
Sir G. 'Would it were whole in thy belly,
To stuff it out; cook it any way—pr'ythee, leave me.
Greedy. Without order for the dumpling?
Sir. G. Let it be dumpled
Which way thou wilt: or, tell him I will scald him
In his own cauldron.
Greedy. I had lost my stomach,
Had I lost my mistress's dumpling; I'll give ye thanks for't.
Exit.
Sir G. But to our business, Meg; you have heard who dines here?
Marg. I have, sir.
Sir G. 'Tis an honourable man.
A lord, Meg, and commands a regiment
Of soldiers; and what's rare, is one himself;
A bold and understanding one; and to be
A lord, and a good leader in one volume,
Is granted unto few, but such as rise up,
The kingdom's glory.
Enter Greedy.
Greedy. I'll resign my office,
If I be not better obey'd.
Sir G. 'Slight, art thou frantic?
Greedy. Frantic! 'twould make me frantic and stark mad,
Were I not a justice of peace and quorum too,
Which this rebellious cook cares not a straw for.
There are a dozen of woodcocks,
For which he has found out
A new device for sauce, and will not dish 'em
With toast and butter.
Sir G. Cook, rogue, obey him.
I have given the word, pray you, now, remove yourself
To a collar of brawn, and trouble me no farther.
Greedy. I will; and meditate what to eat at dinner,
For my guts have been in the kitchen this half hour. [Exit.
Sir G. And, as I said, Meg, when this gull disturb'd us,
This honourable lord, this colonel,
I would have thy husband.
Marg. There's too much disparity
Between his quality and mine, to hope it.
Sir G. I more than hope it, and doubt not to effect it.
Be thou no enemy to thyself; my wealth
Shall weigh his titles down, and make you equals.
Now for the means to assure him thine, observe me;
Remember he's a courtier, and a soldier,
And not to be trifled with; and therefore, when
He comes to woo you, see you do not coy it.
This mincing modesty hath spoil'd many a match
By a first refusal, in vain after hop't for.
Marg. You'll have me, sir, preserve the distance that
Confines a virgin?
Sir G. Virgin me no virgins.
I will have you lose that name, or you lose me;
I will have you private; start not, I say, private.
Marg. Though you can dispense
With your honour, I must guard my own.
This is not the way to make me his wife.
My modest breeding yielded up so soon,
Cannot but assure him,
I, that am light to him, will not hold weight
When tempted by others: so in judgment,
When to his will I have given up my honour,
He must, and will, forsake me.
Sir G. How! forsake thee?
Do I wear a sword for fashion? or is this arm
Shrunk up, or wither'd? Does there live a man
Of that large list I have encounter'd with,
Can truly say I e'er gave inch of ground,
Not purchas'd with his blood that did oppose me?
Forsake thee when the thing is done! he dares not.
Though all his captains, echoes to his will,
Stood arm'd by his side, to justify the wrong,
Spite of his lordship, I will make him render
A bloody and a strict account; and force him,
By marrying thee, to cure thy wounded honour;
I have said it.
Enter Marall.
Mar. Sir, the man of honour's come,
Newly alighted.
Sir G. In, without reply,
And do as I command, or thou art lost.
Exit Margaret.
Is the loud music, I gave order for,
Ready to receive him?
Mar. 'Tis, sir.
Sir G. Let 'em sound
A princely welcome. [Exit Marall.) Roughness awhile leave me;
For fawning now, a stranger to my nature,
Must make way for me.
Enter Lovell, Allworth, Marall, and Greedy.
Lov. Sir, you meet your trouble.
Sir G. What you are pleased to style so is an honour
Above my worth and fortunes.
Allw. Strange! so humble.
Sir G. A justice of peace, my lord.
[Presents Greedy to him.
Lov. Your hand, good sir.
Greedy. This is a lord; and some think this is a favour;
But I had rather have my hand in my dumpling. [Aside.
Sir G. Room for my lord.
Lov. I miss, sir, your fair daughter,
To crown my welcome.
Sir G. May it please my lord
To taste a glass of Greek wine first; and suddenly
She shall attend my lord.
Lov. You'll be obey'd, sir.
[Exeunt all but Sir Giles.
Sir G. 'Tis to my wish; as soon as come, ask for her!
Why, Meg! Meg Overreach!
Enter Margaret.
How! Tears in your eyes?
Hah! dry 'em quickly, or I'll dig 'em out.
Is this a time to whimper? Meet that greatness
That flies into thy bosom; think what tis
For me to say, my honourable daughter:
No more but be instructed, or expect—
He comes.
Enter Lovell and Greedy.
A black-brow'd girl, my lord.
Lov. As I live, a rare one!
Sir G. That kiss
Came twanging off, I like it: quit the room.
Exit Greedy.
A little bashful, my good lord: but you,
I hope, will teach her boldness.
Lov. I am happy
In such a scholar: but——
Sir G. I am past learning,
And therefore leave you to yourselves: remember—
Exit Sir Giles.
Lov. You see, fair lady, your father is solicitous
To have you change the barren name of virgin
Into a hopeful wife.
Marg. His haste, my lord,
Holds no power o'er my will.
Lov. But o'er your duty——
Marg. Which forc'd too much may break.
Lov. Bend rather, sweetest:
Think of your years.
Marg. Too few to match with yours:
Lov. Do you think I am old?
Marg. I am sure, I am too young.
Lov. I can advance you.
Marg. To a hill of sorrow;
Where every hour I may expect to fall,
But never hope firm footing. You are noble;
I of low descent, however rich.
O my good lord, I could say more, but that
I dare not trust these walls.
Lov. 'Pray you, trust my ear, then.
Enter Sir Giles Overreach, listening.
Sir G. Close at it! whispering! this is excellent!
And, by their postures, a consent on both parts.
Enter Greedy.
Greedy. Sir Giles! Sir Giles!
Sir G. The great fiend stop that clapper!
Greedy. It must ring out, sir, when my belly rings noon.
The bak'd meats are ran out, the roast turn'd powder.
Sir G. Stop your insatiate jaws, or
I shall powder you.
Greedy. Beat me to dust, I care not;
In such a cause as this I'll die martyr.
Sir G. Disturb my lord, when he is in discourse?
Greedy. Is't a time to talk
When we should have been munching?
Sir G. Peace, villain! peace! shall we break a bargain
Almost made up? Vanish I say.
Thrusts Greedy off.
Lov. Lady, I understand you: Overreach.
Rest most happy in your choice. Believe it,
I'll be a careful pilot to direct
Your yet uncertain bark to a port of safety.
Marg. So shall your honour save two lives, and bind us
Your slaves forever.
Lov. I am in the act rewarded,
Since it is good; howe'er you must put on
An amorous carriage towards me, to delude
Your subtle father.
Marg. I am bound to that.
Lov. Now break off our conference,—Sir Giles
Where is Sir Giles?
Enter Sir Giles Overreach, Greedy, Allworth, and Marall.
Sir G. My noble lord; and how
Does your lordship find her?
Lov. Apt, Sir Giles, and coming,
And I like her the better.
Sir G. So do I too.
Lov. Yet, should we take forts at the first assault,
'Twere poor in the defendant. I must confirm her?
With a love-letter or two, which I must have
Deliver'd by my page, and you give way to't.
Sir G. With all my soul.—A towardly gentleman!
Your hand, good Mr. Allworth; know my house
Is ever open to you.
Allw. 'Twas still shut till now. [Aside.
Sir G. Well done, well done, my honourable daughter,
Thou'rt so already: know this gentle youth,
And cherish him, my honourable daughter.
Sir G. What noise?
Greedy. More stops
Before we go to dinner! O my guts!
Enter Lady Allworth and Wellborn.
Lady. A. If I find welcome,
You share in it; if not, I'll back again,
Now I know your ends! for I come arm'd for all
Can be objected.
Lov. How! the Lady Allworth?
Sir G. And thus attended!
Mar. No, I am a dolt;
the spirit of lies had entered me!
Lovell salutes Lady Allworth, who salutes Margaret.
Sir G. Peace, patch,
'Tis more than wonder, an astonishment
That does possess me wholly.
Lov. Noble Lady,
This is a favour to prevent my visit,
The service of my life can never equal.
Lady A. My lord, I laid wait for you, and much hop'd
You would have made my poor house your first inn:
And therefore, doubting that you might forget me,
Or too long dwell here, having such ample cause,
In this unequal beauty, for your stay;
And fearing to trust any but myself
With the relation of my service to you,
I borrow'd so much from my long restraint,
And took the air in person to invite you.
Lov. Your bounties are so great, they rob me, madam,
Of words to give you thanks.
Lady A. Good Sir Giles Overreach! [Salutes him.
How dost thou, Marall? Lik'd you my meat so ill,
You'll dine no more with me?
Greedy. I will when you please,
And it like your ladyship.
Lady A. When you please, Mr. Greedy;
If meat can do it, you shall be satisfied;
And now, my lord, pray take into your knowledge
This gentleman; howe'er his outside's coarse,
Presents Wellborn.
His inward linings are as fine and fair
As any man's. Wonder not I speak at large:
And howsoe'er his humour carries him
To be thus accoutr'd; or what taint soe'er,
For his wild life has stuck upon his fame;
He may, ere long, with boldness rank himself
With some that have condemn'd him. Sir Giles Overreach,
If I am Welcome, bid him so.
Sir G. My nephew!
He hath been too long a stranger: 'faith you have.
Pray let it be mended.
[Lovell conferring with Wellborn.
Mar. Why, sir, what do you mean?
This is rogue Wellborn, monster, prodigy,
That should hang or drown himself, no man of worship,
Much less your nephew.
Sir G. Well, sirrah, we shall reckon
For this hereafter.
Mar. I'll not lose my jeer,
Though I be beaten dead for it.
Wellb. Let my silence plead
In my excuse, my lord, till better leisure
Offer itself, to hear a full relation
Of my poor fortunes.
Lov. I would hear and help them. [Bell rings.
Sir G. Your dinner waits you.
Lov. 'Pray you, lead, we follow.
Lady A. Nay, you are my guest? Come, dear
Mr. Wellborn. [Exeunt all but Greedy.
Greedy. Dear Mr. Wellborn! so she said; Heav'n! aven!
If my belly would give me leave, I could ruminate
All day on this: I have granted twenty warrants
To have him committed, from all prisons in the shire,
To Nottingham jail! and now, dear Mr. Wellborn!
And my good nephew!—But I play the fool
To stand here prating, and forget my dinner.
Enter Marall.
Are they set, Marall?
Mar. Long since; pray you a word, sir.
Greedy. No wording now.
Mar. In troth, I must: my master,
Knowing you are his good friend, makes bold with you,
And does entreat you, more guests being come in
Than he expected, especially his nephew,
The table being too full, you would excuse him,
And sup with him on the cold meat.
Greedy. How! no dinner
After all my care?
Mar. 'Tis but a penance for
A meal; besides, you have broke your fast.
Greedy. That was
But a bit to stay my stomach. A man in commission
Give place to a tatterdemallion!
Mar. No big words, sir.
Should his worship hear you——
Greedy. Loose my dumpling too;
And butter'd toasts and woodcocks?
Mar. Come, have patience,
If you will dispense a little with your justiceship,
And sit with the waiting woman, you'll have dumpling,
Woodcock, and butter'd toasts too.
Greedy. This revives me:
I will gorge there sufficiently.