D. C.
Author: (Dr.) Nathaniel Cotton (1705-1788).
First known publication, 1746. The piece was not part of the 1751 Visions in Verse.
ANECDOTES.
Some of the papers sport Mr. Thomas Paine as a man of gallantry; they say, since his last trip to Paris, he was caught on his knees at a lady’s feet by her husband.—The Frenchman astonished at what he saw, exclaimed, “Vat the devil be you doing, Citizen Paine?” “Only,” replied Tom, “measuring your lady for a pair of stays.”—The Frenchman quite pleased at Tom’s answer, kissed and thanked him for his politeness.
UP STAIRS BACKWARDS.
An English servant was sent to an acquaintance of his master’s, who lived at a watch-maker’s in Dame-street. When he came to the shop, he asked if the gentleman was at home; the watch-maker answered in the affirmative, and directed him to go up three pair of stairs backwards. After a journey of half an hour, and astonishing the whole house with his noise, he arrived at the door and delivered his message. The gentleman gave him a dram, which he took, saying, “Long life to your good-natured heart and to mine, and I should be obliged to you to tell me a better way down, for the man told me I was to come up backwards; and if, sir, I go down the same way, I am certain I shall break my neck.” The gentleman bursts into a fit of laughing, and explained the watch-maker’s meaning.
NEW-YORK.