* “A common par.” is “a common paragraph;” and “l.
p,” stands for that description of letter which is called
long primer. Paragraphs, in a paper, have their places of
precedency, and their select company as well as
advertisements. There is as much difference, in point of
dignity and rank, between an l. p. par. (or a paragraph in
large letters), coming immediately after the leaders, and a
scrubby minion par. (or a paragraph in small letter), shoved
any where, as between a minister’s private secretary, and
the private secretary’s private clerk. Your l. p. par. is a
gentleman, and keeps good society. You will always find him
in the midst of their excellencies the ambassadors, who have
paid visits to the foreign office, or received despatches
from their own governments; side by side with peers and
west-end commoners, who have gone out of town, come into
town or given grand dinners; surrounded with princesses and
other illustrious personages, who have taken an airing or
paid a morning visit. But your minion par. is a sneaking,
shabby, obscure little fellow, poked down in a corner by
himself, or at best, only permitted to associate with
“melancholy accidents”—“daring robberies”—“more fires”—
“extraordinary longevity”—the puff particular of Warren’s
Blacking, and the puffs universal of Colburn’s authors. It
is only when parliament is sitting, or there is “a press of
matter,” that these distinctions are levelled in one common
fate of pars, and even leaders. It is then only, that lords
and ladies, M.P’s. and quack doctors, hops, crops, and
concerts, fops, fiddlers, and philosophers, large turnips
and theatrical stars, bishops and burglaries, are all
equally the minions of the daily press, and distinguished
only by their “station in the file.”
Mr. P. I have too much already, by at least half a column, and I don’t know what to leave out.
Editor. Half a column too much!—then you do not want any more from me.
Mr. P. No, Sir; I was thinking of keeping the “Awful thunder storm” till to-morrow, only it is a week old already.
Editor. Never mind. We shall have some more thunder storms by to-morrow, in all probability, and then you can put them all together.
Mr. P. Do you care about the “Grand Seignior” and the “Flying Fish” going in to-day? Because, if they are left out, I can make room for the “White Witch,” the “Persian Ambassador,” and “Waterloo Bridge.”
Editor. Find a place for the “White Witch.” She has been standing for a long time—ever since Monday.
Mr. P. So has “Waterloo Bridge,” Sir. Editor, (with an arch look.) Yes, but that was intended to stand.
Mr. P. (laughing.) I shall want two or three small pars., of about six lines each, to make out the columns, for none of the long articles will fit exactly.
Editor. Wait a moment, and I’ll give them to you. ( Writes.)—“Mackarel are just now in season, and remarkably cheap. We are glad of it, for they furnish an economical and wholesome meal to the poorer classes, with a few potatoes.”