Asylums, hospitals, and schools
He used to swear were made to cozen
All who subscribed to them were fools—
And he subscribed to half a dozen.
It was his doctrine that the poor
Were always able, never willing;
And so the beggar at his door
Had first abuse, and then a shilling.
Some public principles he had,
But was no flatterer nor fretter;
He rapp’d his box when things were bad.
And said, “I cannot make them better!”
And much he loathed the patriot’s snort,
And much he scorn’d the placeman’s snuffle,
And cut the fiercest quarrels short
With “Patience, gentlemen, and shuffle!”
For full ten years his pointer Speed
Had couch’d beneath her master’s table;
For twice ten years his old white steed
Had fatten’d in his master’s stable.
Old Quince averr’d, upon his troth,
They were the ugliest beasts in Devon;
And none knew why he fed them both
With his own hands six days in seven.
Whene’er they heard his ring or knock,
Quicker than thought the village slatterns
Flung down the novel, smoothed the frock,
And took up Mrs. Glasse and patterns.
Adine was studying baker’s bills;
Louisa look’d the queen of knitters;
Jane happen’d to be hemming frills;
And Bell by chance was making fritters.