To these again are related such others as attribute strange virtues to the shrines and images of saints and martyrs, and so would make their credulous proselytes believe, that if they pay their devotion to St. Christopher in the morning, they shall be guarded and secured the day following from all dangers and misfortunes. If soldiers when they first take arms, shall come and mumble over such a set prayer before the picture of St. Barbara, they shall return safe from all engagements. Or if any pray to Erasmus on such particular holidays, with the ceremony of wax candles, and other poperies, he shall in a short time be rewarded with a plentiful increase of wealth and riches. The Christians have now their gigantic St. George, as well as the Pagans have their Hercules: they paint the saint on horseback, and drawing the horse in splendid trappings, very gloriously accoutred, they scarce refrain in a literal sense from worshipping the very beast.
What shall I say of such as cry up and maintain the cheat of pardons and indulgences? That by these compute the time of each soul's residence in purgatory, and assign them a longer and shorter continuance, according as they purchase more or fewer of these paltry pardons and saleable exemptions? Or what can be said bad enough of others, who pretend that by the force of such magical charms, or by the fumbling over their beads in the rehearsal of such and such petitions, which some religious impostors invented, either for diversion or what is more likely for advantage; they shall procure riches, honour, pleasure, health, long life, and lusty old age, nay, after death a sitting at the right hand of our Saviour in His kingdom.
Though as to this last part of their happiness, they care not how long it be deferred, having scarce any appetite towards a tasting the joys of heaven; till they are surfeited, glutted with, and can no longer relish their enjoyments on earth. By this easy way of purchasing pardons, any notorious highwayman, any plundering soldier, or any bribe-taking judge, shall disburse some part of their unjust gains, and so think all their grossest impieties sufficiently atoned for. So many perjuries, lusts, drunkeness, quarrels, bloodsheds, cheats, treacheries, and all sorts of debaucheries, shall all be as it were, struck a bargain for, and such a contract made, as if they had paid off all arrears and might now begin upon a new score.
And what can be more ridiculous, than for some others to be confident of going to heaven by repeating daily those seven verses out of the Psalms which the devil taught St. Bernard, thinking thereby to have put a trick on him, but that he was overreached in his cunning.
And of all the prayers and intercessions that are made to these respective saints the substance of them is no more than downright folly. Among all the trophies that for tokens of gratitude are hung upon the walls and ceilings of churches, you shall find no relics presented as a memorandum of any that were ever cured of folly or had been made one dram the wiser.
Almost all Christians being wretchedly enslaved to blindness and ignorance, which the priests are so far from preventing or removing, that they blacken the darkness, and promote delusion. Wisely forseeing that the people, like cows, which never give down their milk so well as when they are gently stroked, would part with less if they knew more, their bounty only proceeding from a mistake of Charity.
Now if any wise man should stand up, and unseasonably speak the truth, telling everyone that a pious life is the only way of securing a happy death; that the best title to a pardon of our sins is purchased by a hearty abhorrence of our guilt, and sincere resolutions of amendment; that the best devotion that can be paid to any saints is to imitate them in their exemplary life. If he should proceed thus to inform them of their several mistakes, there would be quite another estimate put upon tears, watchings, masses, fastings, and other severities, which before were so much prized, as persons will now be vexed to lose that satisfaction formerly they found in them.
THE MAKING OF BEGGARS AND THIEVES (1516).
Source.—Sir Thomas More, The First Booke of Utopia, 1516. Cambridge Press, p. 29, l. 18.
But let us consider those things that chance daily before our eyes. First, there is a great number of gentlemen, which cannot be content to live idle by themselves, like drones, of that which others have laboured for; their tenants I mean, whom they poll and shave to the quick, by raising their rents (for this only point of frugality do they use, men else through their lavish and prodigal spending likely to bring them to very beggary). These gentlemen, I say, do not only live in idleness themselves, but also carry about with them at their tails a great flock or train of idle and loitering serving men, which never learned any craft whereby to get their livings. These men as soon as their master is dead, or be sick themselves, be incontinent thrust out of doors. For gentlemen had rather keep idle persons, than sick men, and many times the dead man's heir is not able to maintain so great a house, and keep so many serving men as his father did. Then in the mean season they that be thus destitute of service, either starve for hunger, or manfully play the thieves. For what would you have them to do? When they have wandered abroad so long, until they have worn threadbare their apparell, and also appaired their health, these gentlemen, because of their pale and sickly faces, and patched coats, will not take them into service. And husbandmen dare not set them a work, knowing well enough that he is nothing meet to do true and faithful service to a poor man with a spade and a mattock for small wages and hard fare, which being daintily and tenderly pampered up in idleness and pleasure, was wont with a sword and buckler by his side to strut through the street with a bragging look, and to think himself too good to be any man's mate. Nay, by Saint Mary, Sir (quod the lawyer), not so. For this kind of men must we make most of. For in them as men of stouter stomachs, bolder spirits, and manlier courages than handycraftsmen and plowmen be, doth consist the whole power, strength, and puisance of our army, when we must fight in battle. Forsooth, Sir, as well you might say (quod I) that for war's sake you must cherish thieves. For surely you shall never lack thieves, while you have them. No, nor thieves be not the most false and faint-hearted soldiers, nor soldiers be not the cowardliest thieves: so well these two crafts agree together. But this fault, though it be much used among you, yet is it not peculiar to you only, but common also to most nations. Yet France, besides this, is troubled and infected with a much sorer plague. The whole realm is filled and besieged with hired soldiers in peace time (if that be peace) which be brought in under the same colour and pretence, that hath persuaded you to keep these idle serving men. For these wise fools and very archdolts thought the wealth of the whole country herein to consist, if there were ever in a readiness a strong and sure garrison, specially of old practised soldiers, for they put no trust at all in men unexercised. And therefore they must be forced to seek for war, to the end they may ever have practised soldiers and cunning manslayers, lest that (as it is prettily said of Sallust) their hands through idleness or lack of exercise should wax dull; but how pernicious and pestilent a thing it is to maintain such beasts, the Frenchmen by their own harms have learnt. For not only the kingdom but also their fields and cities by divers occasions have been overrunned and destroyed by their own armies beforehand had in a readiness. Now how unnecessary a thing this is, hereby it may appear that the French soldiers, which from their youth have been practised and inured in feates of arms, do not crack nor advance themselves to have very often got the upper hand and mastery of your new made and unpractised soldiers. But in this point I will not use many words, lest perchance I may seem to flatter you.