Lanty here testified:
“Feelin’ a sort of outish t’other day,” ses I to the old woman, ses I, ‘I’ll jist walk over to Lot’s, and take a nipper or two this mornin’,’ ses I. ‘It’ll take the wind off my stomach sorter,’ ses I. Then the old woman’s feathers riz, they did, like a porky-pine’s bristles, and ses she:
“ ‘Lanty,’ says she, ‘if you’d on’y airn more bread and meat, and drink less whisky, you wouldn’t have wind on your stomach.’
“ ‘Suse,’ ses I, ‘this is one of my resarved rights, and I goes agin home industry,’ ses I, sort o’ laugh-in’ out o’ the wrong side o’ my mouth.
“ ‘Resarved rights or desarved wrongs,’ ses her, ‘you’r always a drinkin’ and talkin’ politics when you orter be at work, and there’s never nothin’ to eat in the house.’
“Well, as I was a-goin’ over to Lot’s, jist fernent where the fence was, ses I to myself, ses I: ‘If there isn’t the old King’s critters in my corn-field, so I’ll jist go and tell him on’t.’ When I gets there, ‘Good mornin’, Lanty,’ ses he.
“ ‘Good mornin’, old hoss,’ ses I; and when I went in, there was a pot on the fire a-cookin’, with a great big speckled rooster in it.”
“Mister Oliphant!” here interposed one of the arbitrators, “remember that you are on oath. How do you know that the chicken in the pot was ‘a big speckled rooster?’ ”
“ ’Kase I seed the feathers at the woodpile!” promptly responded Lanty, who then continued:
“Well, when I gits to Lot’s, ‘Good mornin’, Lot,’ ses I.