HENRY, Pat., an Irish-American politician who demanded liberty or death. From all that can be ascertained he secured the latter.
HERCULES, the Sandow of the ancients, promoter of the Olympic games and laborer. H. claimed to have done some things which are even questioned by the partisans of Doctor Cook. Killed about everybody, erected two pillars, stole some apples, and, in short, did everything but enter politics or invent a breakfast food. Ambition: The thirteenth labor. Recreation: Muscle development, travel. Address: The Pillars. Clubs: Athletic. Epitaph: Now Is A Mighty Man Fallen.
HIAWATHA, American Indian who permitted his wife to starve to death simply for the want of proper nourishment. Many claim a great American poet used bad taste in writing the biography of such a man.
HICHENS,(4) Robert, planter of the Garden of Allah. Experimented with belle donna. H. is still in Who's Who, and multitudes of readers hope he will remain there for some time to come. Ambition: Sales. Recreation: Filling his fountain pen or cleaning typewriter. Address: Care of the Publisher. Home: Sicily.
(4) Ed. Note: The editor hopes to meet Mr. Hichens some day, and is compelled to make the biography flattering.
HILL, Samuel, a man who did things in a hurry. Also a celebrated rain storm.
HOBSON, American-Spanish War hero who lowered his ideals and went to Congress. Later he became a temperance lecturer. Was heard by great crowds. Produced statistics to show how few saloons failed after a lecture.
HOLMES, Sherlock, detective. When a child he devoured inexpensive literature and theatres. This fired his mind to eliminate Scotland Yard as a crime-detecting agency. Entered the profession of a detective, but was unknown until Doctor Watson pulled him into print. His fortune was then made. All the society scandals were placed in his hands, and if he only told what he knew about society—! H. solved the most complicated mysteries with a stroke of his hypodermic needle, and was only baffled in locating the murderer of Cock Robin. His name struck terror into the hearts of criminals and competing publishers. After all the criminals in England had been jailed or hung he was killed by an author, but the great H. solved the mystery of the grave and came back to life in time to see his murderer knighted. Now at work on the suffragette case. Ambition: Another Dr. Watson. Recreation: Fond of Doyle's works and the violin. Address: 31 Baker Street. Clubs: London Prison Society. Epitaph: Au Revoir, But.
HOMER, travel writer, mythology expert, and journalist. Began career as a reporter on the Athens "Times." Was discharged for incompetence, and took up honest writing. Found a publisher who thought his writings would sell to posterity. Later H. took charge of the Ulysses Tours. Was war correspondent for the Greek associated press at the siege of Troy. Ambition: Fewer classics and more money. Publication: See libraries and school rooms. Address: Care Athens. Clubs: Literary, Fourth Estate.
HOOD, Red Riding, a brave little girl who escaped alive from a wolf which had previously partaken of a relative.