Dick (Straight): Why, are you going to insure your property?

Tom: Well, not exactly; but my boss says he’s going to fire me, and I want to see if I can’t get protection from the fire.

Dick: Well, why don’t you attend to business? Get around bright and early in the morning.

Tom: I would, only my watch stopped this morning.

Dick: What was the matter with it?

Tom: A bedbug got between the ticks.

Dick: O, quit your kidding! I want to ask you something serious—

Tom: I don’t get paid until Saturday.

Dick: O, I don’t want money. I have a plenty of that.

Tom: My goodness! How long since?