"Ye'll do nae sic a thing, Thomas; I'll do't," exclaimed Mrs. Callender, not only resisting her husband's attempt to thrust her into the rear, but forcibly placing him in that relative position; while she herself advanced a pace or two nearer to the bench. On gaining this vantage ground, Mrs. Callender at once began, and with great emphasis and circumstantiality detailed the whole story of the nightcaps; carefully modelling it so, however, as to show that her own part in the transaction was a bona fide proceeding; on the part of her rival, the reverse; and that the whole quarrel, with its consequent demolition of crockery, was entirely the result of Mrs. Anderson's "upsettin' pride, and vanity, and jealousy." During the delivery of these details, the court was convulsed with laughter, in which the sheriff himself had much difficulty to refrain from joining.
On the husbands of the two women, however, they had a very different effect. Amazed, confounded, and grievously affronted at this unexpected disclosure of the ridiculous part they had been made to perform by their respective wives, they both sneaked out of court, amidst renewed peals of laughter, leaving the latter to finish the case the best way they could. How this was effected we know not, as at this point ends our story of the rival nightcaps.
END OF VOL III
Transcriber's note:
Inconsistent spelling and punctuation were not changed.
TOC: Changed Pheebe to Phebe
Page 3: Changed throroughly to thoroughly
Page 34: Changed gripe to grip
Page 42: Changed Engglish to English
Page 90: Changes transsport to transport
Page 161: Changed Nanny to Nancy
Page 173: Changed Mause to Maudge
Page 173: Changed phrophetic to prophetic
Page 174: Changed rythmic to rhythmic
Page 206: Changed unconcious to unconscious