The Doctor doth here likewise present you with the Receipt of his Infallible Medicine, that those which have no occasion for it themselves, may do good to their Neighbours and Acquaintances: And take it here as followeth.
TAKE five Pound of Brains of your December Flies,
And forty true Tears from a Crocodile’s Eyes;
The Wit of a Weasel, the Wool of a Frog,
With an Ounce of Conserve of Michaelmas Fog.
And make him a Poultis when he goes to Bed,
To bind to his Temples behind of his Head;
As hot as the Patient he well can endure,
And this is for Cuckolds an absolute Cure.
A Song.
GOOD Neighbour why do you look awry,
You are a wond’rous Stranger;
You walk about, you huff and pout,
As if you’d burst with Anger:
Is it for that your Fortune’s great,
Or you so Wealthy are?
Or live so high there’s none a-nigh
That can with you compare?
But t’other Day I heard one say,
Your Husband durst not show his Ears,
But like a Lout does walk about,
So full of Sighs and Fears:
Good Mrs. Tart, I caren’t a Fart,
For you nor all your Jears.
My Husband’s known for to be one,
That is most Chast and pure;
And so would be continually,
But for such Jades as you are:
You wash, you lick, you smug, you trick,
You toss a twire a grin;
You nod and wink, and in his Drink,
You strive to draw him in:
You Lie you Punck, you’re always Drunk,
And now you Scold and make a Strife,
And like a Whore you run o’ th’ Score,
And lead him a weary Life;
Tell me so again you dirty Quean,
And I’ll pull you by the Quoif.
Go dress those Brats, those nasty Rats,
That have a Lear so drowzy;
With Vermin spread they look like Dead,
Good Faith they’re always Lousie:
Pray hold you there, and do not swear,
You are not half so sweet;
You feed yours up with bit and sup,
And give them a dirty Teat:
My Girls, my Boys, my only Joys,
Are better fed and taught than yours;
You lie you Flirt, you look like Dirt,
And I’ll kick you out of Doors;
A very good Jest, pray do your best,
And Faith I’ll quit your Scores.
Go, go you are a nasty Bear,
Your Husband cannot bear it;
A nasty Quean as e’er was seen,
Your Neighbours all can swear it:
A fulsome Trot and good for nought,
Unless it be to chat;
You stole a Spoon out of the Room,
Last Christning you were at:
You lye you Bitch you’ve got the Itch,
Your Neighbours know you are not sound;
Look how you Claw with your nasty Paw,
And I’ll fell you to the Ground;
You’ve tore my Hood, you shall make it good
If it cost me Forty Pound.
The Jovial Cobler of St. Hellens.
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