The Hopeful Bargain: Or a Fare for a Hackney-Coachman, giving a Comical relation, how an Ale-draper at the Sign of the Double-tooth’d Rake in or near the new Palace-yard, Westminster, Sold his Wife for a Shilling, and how she was sold a Second time for five Shillings to Judge; My Lord —— Coachman, and how her Husband receiv’d her again after she had lain with other Folks three Days and Nights, &c. The Tune Lilly Bullero.
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THERE lives an Ale-draper near New-palace-yard,
Who used to Jerk the Bum of his Wife;
And she was forced to stand on her Guard,
To keep his Clutches from her Quoiff:
She poor Soul the weaker Vessel,
To be reconcil’d was easily won;
He held her in scorn,
But she Crown’d him with Horn,
Without Hood or Scarff, and rough as she run.
He for a Shilling sold his Spouse,
And she was very willing to go;
And left the poor Cuckold alone in the House,
That he by himself his Horn might blow:
A Hackney Coachman he did buy her,
And was not this a very good Fun;
With a dirty Pinner,
As I am a Sinner,
Without Hood or Scarff, but rough as she run.
The Woman gladly did depart,
Between three Men was handed away;
He for her Husband did care not a Fart,
He kept her one whole Night and Day:
Then honest Judge the Coachman bought her,
And was not this most cunningly done?
Gave for her five Shilling,
To take her was willing,
Without Hood or Scarff, &c.
The Cuckold to Judge, a Letter did send,
Wherein he did most humbly crave;
Quoth he, I prithee, my Rival Friend,
My Spouse again I fain would have:
And if you will but let me have her,
I’ll pardon what she e’er has done;
I swear by my Maker,
Again I will take her,
Without Hood and Scarff, &c.
He sent an old Baud to interceed,
And to perswade her to come back;
That he might have one of her delicate breed,
And he would give her a ha’p’uth of Sack:
Therefore prithee now come to me,
Or else poor I shall be undone:
Then do not forgo me,
But prithee come to me,
Without Hood or Scarff, tho’ rough, &c.
The Coachman then with much ado,
Did suffer the Baud to take her out;
Upon the Condition that she would be true,
And let him have now and then a Bout:
But he took from her forty Shillings,
And gave her a parting Glass at the Sun;
And then with good buyt’ ye,
Discharged his Duty,
And turn’d her a grazing, rough as she run.
The Cuckold invited the Coachman to dine,
And gave him a Treat at his own Expence;
They drown’d all Cares in full brimmers of Wine,
He made him as welcome as any Prince:
There was all the Hungregation,
Which from Cuckolds-Point was come;
They kissed and fumbled,
They touzed and tumbled,
He was glad to take her rough as she run.
Judge does enjoy her where he list,
He values not the old Cuckold’s Pouts;
And she is as good for the Game as e’er pist,
Fudge on his Horns sits drying of Clouts:
She rants and revels when she pleases,
And to end as I begun,
The Horned Wise-acre,
Is forced to take her
Without Hood or Scarff, and rough as she run.
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