Porter (draws himself up with dignity): Joe, you are making a presumptuous fool of yourself.
Joe: Listen, Misteh Porteh, suh, you aint quite yosef right now, Ah knows how it is, suh, you mos crazy oveh what happen to dat po Jimmie Valentine! But oh, suh, please suh—doan take it out o dat bottle—
Porter: You black ape, how do you know what’s in this bottle?
Joe: Ah knows, Misteh Porteh, Ah sho knows!
Porter: I thought you said you couldn’t read.
Joe: Hanwritin, Misteh Porteh, hanwritin. But Ah knows what’s in dat bottle, cause Ah done tuck it mahself—many’s a time—
Porter: Why, you infernal scoundrel!
Joe: Befo you come hyar, Misteh Porteh, Ah tuck it. Not since you come, boss. Ah wouldn’t do nothin to git you into trouble. Aint you tole me Ah was yo body-servant, jes like mah ole daddy in de Jedge Adair famly?
Porter: Was it the duty of the body-servant to run his master’s life?
Joe: Yes, Misteh Porteh, hones, it sho nuff was. (he grins) Misteh Porteh, lemme tell you story—a sho nuff true story, what you kin write—it’s what mah ole daddy tole me jes befo he died—he hadn’t never tole it befo, but he wanted me to know bout Jedge Adair an de famly troubles. De Jedge, he was president of de Traders’ Bank, and de bank was gittin into trouble. Mah ole daddy he know bout what was goin on, an he seen de Jedge was worried, he was drinkin too much whiskey. An one night mah ole daddy had to go to de bank, it was somethin what he had forgot to do, so he went at night—he had a key, cause de Jedge he trusted him wid everything. Well, mah ole daddy was in dah, and he heard someone a foolin wid de do’. He thought it was a burglar, so he hid hisself, and who should he see come into de bank but de Jedge hisself. De Jedge went to de vault, an he open it, an he take out a suit-case and start to go off wid it. Mah ole daddy he guess right quick what dat meant, de Jedge was in trouble an goin to run away wid de money of de bank. So mah ole daddy come out an speak to him an plead wid him fo de honor of de famly not to take dat suit-case; and de Jedge, first he was mad, den he choke a little, an he say, all right, an say no mo, an mah ole daddy drive him to de depot an he go away widout de suit-case.