UPTON SINCLAIR

CONTENTS

Letter Page
I.In Which I Join the Higher-Ups[5]
II.In Which I Go Behind the Scenes[9]
III.In Which I Ring the Bell[13]
IV.In Which I Guess a Riddle[18]
V.In Which I Listen to Gossip[22]
VI.In Which I Put on the Glad Rags[27]
VII.In Which I Am Paid Compliments[32]
VIII.In Which I Peek Into a Palace[37]
IX.In Which I Don’t Get Wet[41]
X.In Which I Take a Flop[46]
XI.In Which I Play a Big Scene[51]
XII.In Which I Miss Half a Dinner[57]
XIII.In Which I Miss Another Half Dinner[62]
XIV.In Which I Go on a Strike[67]
XV.In Which I Lose My Lover[72]
XVI.In Which I Am Made a Grammarian[77]
XVII.In Which I Become a Syker[82]
XVIII.In Which I Stick to the Job[88]

LETTER I

IN WHICH I JOIN THE HIGHER-UPS

Dear Mom:

You been complaining there ain’t enough news in my letters, well you sure will get a load of it this trip of the postman. Your Mame has been cast for little Cinderella in the big political show and the fairy-coach is waiting at the door.

This is how it come about, the place was busy and every girl had a customer but Florabelle and me, when a gentleman comes in, a top-notcher I can see and takes us in with a glance. He don’t need but one because Florabelle makes up her complexion in a dark room and ain’t got the sense to look it over by daylight. So he comes to my table and sits and says, “Go to it, lady.”

He has got good hands not soft nor flabby like many of the big fellows, but you can see he ain’t had to skin them with hard work. I starts to washing them and gets a look out of the corner of my eye and I see he’s somewhere in the forties and a bit of grey in his hair. His cuffs is new and clean and everything quiet and exactly right.

I says, “Fine weather we’re having,” and he makes the shortest kind of a noise that means yes and I see he’s thinking about something and would rather not be bothered—but what did he come into a manicure parlor for? So I looks sympathetic and says in a spiritual voice, “There’s sure a lot of troubles in the world ain’t there?”