Dear Mom:
You should of been in the Elite Beauty Parlors this a. m. to see what happened when I walked in with my new costume. I have got to wear it to work you see because I never know when Mr. Edgerton will give me a ring on the phone. You would of thought the girls had never seen no real swell clothes in their lives before they just let out one yell, and then of course they wanted the whole story when and where and how and especially how much. And when I wouldnt tell them I was a cat and Hattie Schoenstein—she has had a mad on me ever since I told her that the French way of her name would be Hotaire—well she says, “How much did you pay the gentleman for that?”
I says, “I paid him some valuable ideas,” and of course they all thought that was the funniest joke they ever heard for how could the poor sillies imagine that I was being consulted about what the greatest Man in the whole world was to say twiced a week to the newspaper reporters of the whole world? If I had of told them that they would of busted with laughing.
But say Mom it is sure wonderful to be dressed right up to the minute you may say what you please but there aint any feeling like it. Already today three gentlemen have asked me will I go out to dinner with them and I have had to tell them that I have a steady which is the easiest way of getting out of it as I have to be here whenever Mr. Edgerton needs me.
Well I have got the afternoon paper, and I see the Spokesman has not said what I advised Him to say about the Reds. What He did say was so much wiser I could never of thought of it myself and it made me have a great reverence for Him. He says that the Roossians should be allowed to buy our tractors because we have got to preserve freedom of trade because that is the great principle upon which American prosperity is based. And of course I can see that for if I had of went into that Bon Ton Store with Mr. Edgerton and the clerk had of told me that they wouldnt sell me no suit because maybe they didnt like the looks of me or something why where would I of been then? And so the Spokesman said we would not stop the people that come over here from Roossia to buy things but only them that had come to teach us ideas that was dangerous.
I will tell you something funny that will show you what a wonderful thing it is that the Spokesman is doing in educating all the people in ideas that is safe. I got some of the girls to talking about international affairs this morning because you see I want to find out what it is that the plain people think so that I can tell Mr. Edgerton and he can tell the Spokesman. I asked them about this business about letting the Roossians come over here to buy things and they all got mad and they says no we don’t want none of them dirty Bolshivikis over here they has went and nationalized all the women in Roossia and we dont want none of that in America.
“Then you dont believe in freedom of trade?” I says and Florabelle McGinnis she flares up, “I believe in every girl having a right to choose her own feller,” she says, “and if that aint freedom of trade then what is?”
Well when I come home from lunch I had the paper with that interview that the Spokesman had give and I hands it to Florabelle and I says, “See here, the Spokesman has been talking about what you said.” And so she read it and a little later I hears her talking with Ada Huggins and she says, “Well if them Roossians has got the money and its good money why let them come in I say and buy what they want because after all freedom of trade is the great principle upon which American prosperity is based.” Just like that she said it Mom as if it was her own idea but she had just took it up because she seen it in the paper the poor silly. But you can see how very important it is that I should study these questions and get them right so that I can know what to tell Mr. Edgerton to tell the Spokesman to tell the Floradumbelles.
Another idea was in that interview and a very important and wise idea as I can see. The Spokesman says there is another great principle upon which American prosperity is based and that is freedom of opinion; everybody has got the right to say what they think and so we will have a chance to find out what ideas is the best. I read that to some of the girls so as to see what they would say and Hotaire—she is always looking to say something different from me, so as to put me into a hole—she says, “Well, if he thinks that, why is he scared to let them Roossians come in and say their ideas?”
And did you ever hear anything so silly as that letting them Bolshivikis come in and shoot off their faces! “Well but why not?” she says persistent like.