Of course he don’t know what to say but suddenly I make a guess and I says, “Do you want to know where I live?” I says. “Are you trying to follow me home? If so,” I says, “I’ll make you a bargain you lend me them rubbers to put over my new shoes and you put that there umbrella over my new hat and dress and you can walk home with me as straight as the streets run.”
And gee Mom he is tickled so that he busts out laughing. It seems that he is a good sport because he says “All right Miss if you really mean it I’ll take you up.” And he reaches down and takes off his rubbers.
But before I stoop to put them on I gives him a good look in the eye and I says, “Look here Mr. Man I want you to understand that I’m a lady and if you try to get fresh with me I’ll poke you in the mug with your own umbrella,” I says.
And he says, “Oh no ma’am it aint anything like that,” he says. “I am a respectable married man and you are quite safe with me.” And so he escorts me home and bids me good-night at the door as polite as if I was the daughter of an admiral or of some famous diplomat like Mr. Edgerton says that I look. And what it is that he’s after well I suppose I’ll know about it someday when it has happened.
Your uncertain daughter
Mame.
LETTER X
IN WHICH I TAKE A FLOP
Dear Mom:
I have your letter and also Pop’s and I dont wonder you both find it fearful exciting to get my letters telling how I have told Mr. Edgerton what to tell the Spokesman to say to the American people and then that same day to get the newspaper and see that He has said exactly what I have said for Him to say. And just think Mom it is not only in the Camden Republican that you would read it but if you would of been in Philadelphia then you would of saw it in the Philadelphia Democrat and it would of been the same in Oshkosh or Lalipalousa wherever them places is.