And then I remembered what Mr. Edgerton said that I must not lose touch with the plain people but remember how they feel so that I will be able to tell him so that he can tell the Spokesman up at the big white house what to say to all the newspaper reporters. So I decided that I would meet some plain people right away so what should I do but pay a call on the Elite Beauty Parlors? It is lovely warm spring weather and I have got on my fine new clothes and I walk in as cool as a pineapple sundae and look round and see that Floradumbelle has no customer so I walk to her table and sit myself down and I says, “Well good afternoon and how is things going in the old shop?”
Well there is the madame and she glares at me like the old she-devil that she is, and Floradumbelle she stares with her mouth open and all the other girls is stopping their work to stare and I am taking off my pearl grey gloves in no hurry and I says, “I would like to have a manicuring if this shop aint raised its prices too many times since I was here.”
So of course what can she do but start work and the madame what can she do but hold her mouth and me what am I there for but to talk? So I says in a good loud voice, “Oh Flora dear I am having such a wonderful time and rising so fast in the world I am an Emergency Field Grammarian to the Bureau of Indian Affairs of the Department of the Interior and it is a most responsible position and I do not have to do a thing except what I please and I can travel and have an allowance for expenses and I am going to Camden New Jersey the first time I can be spared from the government and see my Mom and my Pop and my fyansay. And hello Adair,” I says, “and hello Hotaire and hello Mary May Marie,” I says, “I thought I would drop in for the sake of old times because you see I have got to keep in touch with the plain people and not forget how it is that they feel and what they think about international affairs. And what do you say to this idea of the secretary of state that they call Scared Sally letting in this Bolshiviki count to be with his sick wife?” I says.
Well it costs me two-fifty to have that splurge but there is nothing that has made me feel so good since I come to Washington, D. C. And then I have a stroll down the street and look at all the pretty things in the shop windows and think that I am going to have seven-fifty more each week to spend like I want to only for what I send to you Mom and I sure do think this is a wonderful government and the greatest country in the whole world. And then I have got a date to have dinner with Mr. Edgerton in that same Imperial Cafay where you get the cocktails in a soup-tureen and I tell him about how I been to the Elite and show him what was the expression on Madame Lafferty’s face and he says, “Mame,” he says, “you might of been a great actress like your Mom.”
Well then I tell him what the girls is said about that there Bolshiviki count that is to be let into the country and what a mistake it is and he says, “You can see the mistake for already the news has been cabled to that there Hungry country and there is a lot of stuff cabled back about what it is that the count would of said if he had not of pledged that he would not say nothing.” And I says, “Yes I have read it and it is terrible stuff and I do not understand because it says this here Bolshiviki count is charging that the people that is opposing him is killing and shooting people and torturing them in dungeons and all that and all the time I have been told that it is the Bolshivikis that does that and here it seems to be the other side that is doing it.”
And he says, “So you see just how the propaganda works,” he says, “that is the whole purpose to get you to asking questions like that.”
But I says, “Is it true?”
And he says, “There it is,” he says, “you can see how he has sewed some doubts into a mind that had never before had none but had always believed the right thing.”
“Yes but look here Mr. Edgerton stop kidding me I want to know what is the truth.”
“Yes but my dear Mamie I want to show you how this poison spreads because here you are pushing me for an answer and if it had not of been for this here count you would never of thought about it at all.”