“This will surely be done. The Globe is already drafting a bill for the new legislature, abolishing the frightful house of torture. It is the New York Home for the Insane, its precise location being as yet unascertained. The officials of the place have kept the escape of the prisoners a secret through fear of having their nefarious practices made public. But the enterprise of the Globe has thwarted them.
“The tale told by the wretched prisoners is almost beyond belief. They are dangerous, all of them, showing their delusions in every act, though constantly protesting that they are not mad. One of them wears a dilapidated clerical costume and preached a most extraordinary sermon while the others were telling their stories to the reporter. Another wears a bellboy’s uniform, and persists in running an elevator at all times, though he is the son of a prominent Washington official.
“The man from Texas flourished a lasso and a revolver and seemed under the delusion that the Globe reporter’s notebook was meant for target practice. An idea of the risks run by those who procured this extraordinary news may be gained when it is said that it was only by the utmost cunning that the reporter managed to prevent this wild creature from shooting him. The maniac danced about and shouted strange cowboy exclamations during the whole proceedings.
“Still another of the seven was a rather stout and seemingly harmless person who persisted in claiming that he was a head waiter. He wore a tattered dress suit and amused himself in collecting tips. The reporter could get no leisure to take notes except by fleeing this extraordinary character continually.
“Number five was clad in a most remarkable outing suit and spoke with a decided London accent. Apparently his only idiosyncracy was the idea that he was a baronet. The rest informed the reporter that his father was a noted criminal and formerly a bootblack, but this was indignantly denied by the Englishman, who grew quite violent and vowed that he would not stand the insult.
“Another had perhaps the strangest delusion of all. He persisted in calling himself the “Sleeping Beauty,” though no one less beautiful could possibly be imagined. He dozed incessantly during the interview, and his companions stated that he seldom did anything else while in the institution where they were imprisoned. The unfortunates spoke mournfully of the frightful amount of work they had been compelled to do there. They are evidently fearful of having to return, but this the Globe is determined to prevent.
“The most horrible specimen among the maniacs is mentioned last. He is a tall and exceedingly handsome young man, and to all appearances is perfectly sane. He stated that he had been incarcerated in that institution by a cruel uncle, who has thus defrauded him of his rights. This uncle he continually referred to as ’Uncle Sam.’
“This young man offered to show the reporter his back, which was bruised by blows inflicted upon him by cruel tormentors, his superiors who objected to some trifling acts of his. Also both his hands were completely bandaged; he had been tortured by fire. It makes one shudder to think that such things can be in this nineteenth century of ours.
“In concluding this introductory article, the Globe wishes to call the attention of its readers to its extraordinary enterprise in securing this absolutely first account. The paper’s servants ran most terrible risks in venturing into the woods with these desperate maniacs. Yet such sacrifices the search for truth demands.
“The Globe intends to probe this matter to the very bottom. A special corps of detectives has been engaged, and our readers may rest assured that this first account will be supplemented by all possible details. Etc., etc., etc., etc.”