I’d often heard of married life, of pleasures without equal,

So I resolved to take a wife, but only mark the sequel.

But while my sorrows I relate, don’t try to raise my ire,

For oh, I’ve often cursed the fate of unhappy Jeremiah.

I courted Jane, the milliner, her parents were my betters,

But soon I had enough of her, when fast bound in wedlock fetters.

For we had a boarder of our own, a man she did admire,

And oft with him she’d be alone in spite of Jeremiah.

Remonstrating was all in vain, she’d always be my master,

And if I tried to stop her tongue, ’twas sure to run the faster.